I could have
by KazzahBlanca
Summary: Our relationship was going from strength to strength, Lily Evans was mine and everything was going brilliantly...that was until, I woke up... LEJP fic, it is good, really, well...yes it is! Please R
1. A joke leading to a laugh

i own no one btw

**-----------I could have...------------- **

I could have waited, I could have believed, but would that have ever got me anywhere?

Lily Evans was the most beautiful girl in school. Well, she was in my opinion.

She had fiery red hair long and sleek, most of the time she let it flow down, way past her waist, and when you had stared at her long enough, something I do frequently, it would create a blurry vision, almost like a blazing fire, one burning with a fiery passion. Right I know you might be thinking, "What the hell this boy sounds like a right bunny boiler, and a puffed up one at that" But it's just the way I feel about her, the way I FELT about her. Her eyes were emerald. A beautiful green colour. They sparkled and shined when she smiled, they glazed over when she was over whelmed or angry, and when she was sad, well, they were a dull shade then and most of the time I was the reason for that. Me and Lily never really hit it off, she was a hot tempered girl back in first year and disliked me and my friends immensely, well she disliked me and Sirius, my best friend, immensely, she didn't mind my other friends Remus and Peter. I guess that's what you get for being a prankster man hore. I mean here was James Potter literally begging for one lousy date off one lousy (but in my eyes wonderful) girl when he could have had any slut in the school. INCLUDING HALF OF THE TEACHERS! But then again I always was up for a challenge.

Wait a minute I'm talking about her in past tense aren't I? Well before you ask the poor girl isn't dead. Just the love I have for her, HAD for her. I mean she's got that Mary-sue boy from Ravenclaw now doesn't she? I mean I had my chance with Lily Evans the most perfect girl in the world but as usual I blew it, as I do everything.

Ok let me start from the beginning, way back in our Fifth year.

We were back at Hogwarts for yet another year of Pranks, Romance and oh yeah that thing called learning. I was seated at my usual seat with my usual friends on my usual Gryffindor house table. We were chatting away merrily when the girl of my dreams Lily Evans walks in chatting away to her own friend Melissa. When she saw me she gave me a look of most utter disgust and mumbled something to her friend just loud enough for me to hear her commenting on how

"She had hoped a man eating shark had torn me limb from limb and eaten me over the summer"

I was thoroughly disgruntled at the violence of her mind but decided ignoring it would be the best solution. I mean, maybe if I didn't retaliate she would realise what a nice person I actually am and consider going out with me. Nah.

Upon seeing my stare at the glamorous red head, who by the way had grown even more beautiful over the summer, Sirius slapped me round the head.

"Get over her mate, she's just a girl"

"She's not just a girl Padfoot, she's a goddess"

"Well get over the goddess then" Sirius had always found Lily attractive but not enough so to go cookoo over. He turned round to face her and his jaw dropped.

"What the hell happened to Evans? She got HOTT!"

"SIRIUS!" I whispered fiercely at him shaking his shoulders.

"Put your tongue back in mate" Remus added, chuckling lightly at the scene being made.

"What? Oh sorry, yeah what was it you were saying?"

"Padfoot, you just said Lily was hott!"

"Err, did I? System overload sorry guys, but just look at her, I mean I would NOT mind serving that on a stick!"

"Sirius, not only is that disgusting but it is a morally degrading and sexist remark"

"Oh come on Moony, don't tell me you weren't thinking it too"

"Actually, I wasn't"

"I was" I added in at this moment, still staring intently at the princess a little way down the table from me, now sipping pumpkin juice and laughing at a joke her friend Alice must have just made.

"Yes well you would wouldn't you Prongs mate; after all you have been pining after her affection for the best part of FOUR years!"

"She has curves, and a CLEAVAGE!" Sirius breathed.

"Sirius! You Pig!" Remus said, making a small and quiet Peter burst into a fit of giggles soon cut short by a glare from Sirius.

"Oh come on Moony, you know you were thinking it"

"For the last time Padfoot I was NOT thinking that!"

"Sure" He mumbled under his breath.

For some reason Lily had got up and was walking over to THEM! Had she heard them talking about her hotness? I hoped not.

"Umm, Potter, I just wanted to remind you that we have Prefect duties tonight. McGonagall wants us in her office at 7pm sharp so don't be late, I know you Potter"

"You would know me better if we went on a date" I said smirking, I just couldn't help it.

"As thrilling as that may, or as the case may be not, sound I would rather get to know you at a safe distance, say 10 mile radius, now if you don't mind I have somewhere much more interesting to be. Like in a store cupboard or something"

I didn't get the insult at the time but I soon worked it out by the end of the year.

"Want me to join you?" I added again raising my eyebrow suggestively.

"I would rather be joined by a pack of angry werewolves" I saw Remus flinch out of the corner of my eye and hide behind a 7 volume book he had already rented from the library.

"Well I expect you must get going on your merry way then mustn't you" She seemed rather shocked at this outburst and stormed off quite crimson in the face.

"Wow James that told her"

"Yes it did" I was quite proud of myself in one way, but in another I was shocked also at myself. This was the girl I had dreamed about for years, the one I planned my life with, and I had just, well, belittled her!

As I stalked off down the corridor at 6:50 I thought about her some more. What did I have to do to get her to just look at me differently? To call me by my first name? To just treat me like another human being?

I made it to McGonagall's office at exactly 2 minutes to 7; it was Lily who was late.

She ran in breathless hair wild and untamed, panting, with a red face.

"Sorry Professor, I was err, studying"

"Very well Miss Evans but you know how I feel about lateness, if you cannot cope with the pressures of being a 5th year prefect then I'm sure there is someone else out there who can"

"Yes Professor"

I smirked at her as we were assigned our floors. She returned favour with a nasty glare and a rude hand gesture she discreetly made to me under the table.

"Now you are to return to me after your duties are finished and report on all happenings, as this is your first duties as prefects I will remind you to not let the privileges get to your head and for your ego's to stay at a normal size."

"Too late" Lily muttered looking at me from the corner of her eye.

"And this means that you must NOT go haywire in the taking away of house points"

She eye balled me slightly before standing up from her chair and dismissing us.

"Wow so much power, but what to do with it?" I said as we were making our way to the 4th floor where we were to start our prefect duties.

"Maybe you could do something with your hair" Lily said rolling her eyes.

"Wow Evans, watch the temper, I know you're just a pussy cat really but putting on the tiger act, that is convincing"

Lily rolled her eyes once again.

"The only convincing you need is that the world is not in love with you"

"Ouch that was harsh, but I'll forgive it. For a kiss, just a small one" I said spacing out my fingers about a cm apart.

"Dream on Potter, I don't kiss peasant folk" She said flicking her hair.

"Oooh that's one fiery temper you have there, use that kind of thing in the bedroom and guys will be sticking to you like mussels to a rock" Hey I know it's corny but I'm a teenage boy with teenage hormones. Except I don't have an excuse for the dementedness of the mussels to a rock thing.

She gave me a long hard stare. Then she started…LAUGHING! Lily Evans was actually laughing at something I had said, not laughing at me. She was laughing WITH me! Except I wasn't laughing yet because I was really quite scared of her, you know just incase she was faking the laughter, but no, it was genuine! How could I tell this? Because her eyes were sparkling. She laughed so much and so loud she had to bend over to contain herself. She was red in the face and tears were forming in the corners of her eyes. She was making funny breathing noises and I wasn't sure whether she was still laughing or if she was now having an asthma attack.

"Umm Lily, are you ok?" She held up a hand and kind of waved at me, showing she was fine. I could hear her gasping "Mussels to a rock!" Under her breath and every time she said it she burst into another fit of giggles.

"Well, as much as I love to watch you laugh (and I really did) I think we better get going, a 3rd year could have already killed a 1st year by now and we wouldn't even know about it, and if you really do know me you'll know how much I love a good fight"

She stopped laughing and put her hand on the wall to steady herself. There were tears streaming down her cheeks and she was flushed. But she still looked beautiful, and come to think of it Sirius was right, she had got a cleavage! And a mighty big one at that.

We stayed silent for a while, talking only to stop little 1st years running down the hall ways and 4th year wannabes sliding down the banisters, let me tell you those little blighters have one heck of a trap on them, and I'll let it be known, house points were taken away. Suddenly as the silence was going right to my head I turned to Lily and asked the question I knew she was dreading.

"What were you really doing tonight that made you so late for McGonagall?"

She stared blankly at me for a second or two before slowly turning to face the wall.

"I told you already, I was studying"

"Wow then you must be one UN fit girl"

"Excuse me?" She said rather tartly.

"Well, the Library is just down the hall, if you were to run to McGonagall's office then it would have taken 1 minute at the most, and running one minute is barely going to make you run out of breath"

"You know what Potter, you are too bloody smart for your own bloody good you know that?"

"Well, I have been told. So where were you?"

"Who said I had to study in the Library?"

"No one, but who said you don't have to study in the Library?"

"What? That doesn't make sense!"

"Exactly" Ok so I was really losing it here but what could I do, being outsmarted by a girl isn't exactly the highlight of my day. She rolled her eyes and faced the wall again.

"I was with…Sirius"

"WHAT?" Now this I hadn't expected, and I was regretting asking the question instantly.

"Not in that way!" She said quickly reassuring me. Now this I was thankful of.

"We were just…talking, we called up this truce, you know, I respect him, he respects me. It was his idea actually"

"Oh was it now?" I said through gritted teeth.

"You see I didn't want to tell you because, well for some reason _he_ didn't want me to tell you. I asked him why and he said 'I have my reasons' so I left it at that"

"Yeah and I know right were I'm gonna shove those reasons up…"

"James!" Lily said astonished, but what…did Lily Evans just use my first name? I think she did!

"You called me James"

"What? No I didn't" She said flushing slightly.

"Yes you did, you said 'James'" I imitated her voice, and quite well in my opinion.

This was it. If things carried on like this, she would be mine in no time. Trouble is nothing is that simple.

HeY gUyS pLeAsE rEaD aNd ReViEw thanx


	2. A laugh at someone elses expense

i own no one...yet MUAHAHAHAHA cough splutter

anyway on with the story

**-------I could have waited-------- **

"Hey Lily wait up!" I ran to catch up with my Blossom making her way to our Charms lesson the next day.

"Oh hey J-Potter"

"Potter! But I thought we were on first name terms now"

"Exactly, YOU thought we were on first name terms, my mind thought nothing of the sort"

"Oh" I mumbled, a little embarrassed and disappointed.

"Look Ja-POTTER!" She shrieked at her mistake, and yes I did notice she was itching to just call me James.

"I'm sorry but, maybe we should give it some time, I still don't like you, you know"

"Oh well thanks for the subtlety in that, that really lowered my self esteem"

"Good, your self esteem could use some lowering" This girl really was playing hard to get wasn't she.

"But I thought we had a laugh yesterday"

"Yeah we did" She sighed.

"Then what's the matter?"

"Well it was just a laugh not an affair or making out session, I have laughs with loads of people and it doesn't mean I particularly like them" I gave her a funny look meaning 'what the hell girl do you laugh with random strangers?'

And she replied with her eyes 'no potter I mean people in our year'. See we even have telepathy!

"You're hopeless Lily what do I have to do to make you like me?"

"Well you can stop that for a start!" She was referring to my habit, the hair one were I ran my hand through it muffling it up.

"What?" I said innocently hiding my hand behind my back. She rolled her eyes and started to walk faster up the corridor.

"Oh come on you could at least have the decency to walk with me" I called up after her but she ignored me and rushed into our class room for refuge.

"Hey Prongs mate, how's it going?" Sirius asked me as I sat down in my seat.

"Well apart from the fact that Lily still hates me after she spent half the night laughing at a joke I made I'm fine, bloody brilliant" I said running my hand through my hair, even though I was trying very hard to resist the temptation.

"Hey speaking of Lily, I heard about your little 'truce'"

"Oh, that" He grinned weakly.

"Yeah, what was that about? 'Cause I know you Padfoot and if you dare hurt her you know I will kill you!"

"Hey it was just a friendship thing, she was a bit reluctant at first but after I used my dashing charm she was all over the idea"

"Yeah I'm sure she was. So it was just a friend's thing?"

"'Course Prongs mate, you know I wouldn't do that to you"

"Today we will be working on the fire charm. Incendo. Now, swish and flick" Flitwick swished and flicked with all his might and set on fire a tapestry of a unicorn fighting a horse at the back. Many of the class were in awe. I wasn't though; I had caused _a lot_ more damage than that in my time.

I attempted it, I really did but I just couldn't seem to get it. I looked over in Lily's direction. She was surrounded by ashes from the book she had already managed to burn. Lily was magnificent, she was brilliant at charms, she was brilliant at potions, she was brilliant at EVERYTHING, except of course Transfiguration, which happened to be the one thing I was great at.

Being as bored as I was I leaned back in my chair so far my foot gave a great thump to the seat in front of me, which just happened to be Snivellus, chosen name Severus.

He turned round and gave me a nasty and malicious glare. I smiled back at him, showing all my teeth, he looked away disgusted and continued with his work.

"Hey Prongs, help I just set Thompson's hair on fire!" Sirius whispered fiercely in my ear. I muttered a simple charm and water rushed out of my wand. Gerard Thompson shook his head and water flew everywhere he turned round and gave me and Sirius an even nastier glare than the one I had received from Snape.

"What the hell was that!" He growled.

"Err well James here was having some trouble with his charm and I err was helping him…"

"SIRIUS!"

"Oh fine, it was me, sorry mate, aint very used to this charm" Sirius said smiling slightly. Thompson gave us one last glare then turned around.

Sirius whistled out of the corner of his mouth and grinned.

"You know Padfoot, if you carry on like this u'll be locked up in Azkaban by the time we turn 25" I said flicking my wand once again in a frenzy.

"Oh calm down Prongs you're sounding like my mother"

"Yeah well if I was your mother I would be giving you a clip round the ear right now!"

"Hey, hey what's up with you? You're all moody all of a sudden, you know on a normal day you would be wetting yourself at something like that by now"

"Yes, well today isn't normal is it?"

"Erm…no?"

"No, because today Lily Evans, girl of my dreams, nearly said my first name"

"And that's…bad?"

"Yes!"

"Because?"

"Because she was this close to saying James once and for all and she still said Potter!"

"Riiight"

"This means I have to work even harder for her to even notice me!"

"Well I don't think you have to work very hard to get her to look at you, look over there, she's staring at you"

"What? Really? Oh wow, how do I look?"

"Like James"

"Dammit Sirius that's not good enough!"

"Ok you are aware you just insulted your self right?"

I glared a little at him then, remembering that Lily was apparently looking at me, I smiled.

I was about to run my hand through my hair, but I restrained myself just in time to see Lily getting up from her seat and coming over to us.

"Hi Lily" I squeaked. God how embarrassing, she must of thought me some mouse creature.

"Hi Potter, just came over to say…NICE HAIR!" She burst out laughing along with several of her friends and a few scummy Slytherins.

"Huh? What's wrong with my hair?"

"Oh God James" Sirius muttered, handing me a mirror he had fished out of his bag.

I looked at my reflection, my perfect complexion and deep golden eyes. What was wrong? Then I noticed my hairs reflection. IT WAS RAPIDLY CHANGING COLOUR! First it was yellow then a deep shade of green and all of a sudden it was a deep crimson.

"Sirius why the hell didn't _you_ tell me my hair was a rainbow!"

"I didn't notice it mate, I'm pretty colour blind, plus I swear it wasn't like that a minute ago"

"It wasn't. I was looking over at the commotion you two were making when all of a sudden your hair turned bright blue, I just couldn't resist coming over here and laughing"

"How kind of you" I mumbled, covering my hair with my hands.

"Go on Lily, do the counter curse, he's had enough humiliation for one day" I loved it when Sirius was so blunt, you know 'Mr Point out the obvious a lot'.

"It wasn't me, I'm not that clever, I would have never thought of doing that"

"Then who the hell was it!" I scanned the classroom for guilty faces, stopping for a long time at Severus, but something told me it wasn't him.

"Err James, look over there" Lily's friend Melissa was quickly stuffing her wand back into her bag and hiding her charms book under her desk.

"Melissa!" Lily asked bewildered.

"What?" She said rather too innocently for my liking.

"_You_ turned James' hair different colours?"

"NO, why would you think that?"

"Oh well it was ju-"

"And so what if I did, huh, what are you implying Lily? That I might secretly like him or something? Yeah, yeah and so what? What If I do, what are you going to do about it?" Melissa clapped a hand over her mouth and flushed the same crimson as my hair was now changing to.

"I was just gonna ask why" Lily said quite guilty for making her friend also embarrass herself. But what was this? Melissa liked me? Melissa Cook? Now there was one hott girl! Not as hott as Lily of course but she had a gorgeous face and her body. Oh her body, I mean any guy would be thrilled to go out with her. But not me. The only girl for me was Lily Evans, NO ONE ELSE.

"Well this is awkward" Sirius piped up breaking the silence.

Everyone was fidgeting around un comfortably in their seats apart from Snivellus and Thompson who seemed to be enjoying the spectacle before their eyes with great joy.

As you can imagine I ran straight to my next class without looking back. I had just found out my girls (and yes she is my girl. She just doesn't know it yet) best friend had a crush on me. This day couldn't get any worse, well, not really.

We had potions next with Slughorn. He was an all right teacher I guess. The only problem with him was that he was head of Slytherin. Snivellus was delighted in showing off his flashy potion making skills to the rest of the class and showed no remorse when he completely humiliated me by tripping me up in front of class while I was carrying a vile that held a toxic fluid that turned your skin green. I was wrong. This day could get worse. ALOT worse.

Just my luck I had already had 2 classes with the Slytherins that morning and still they give us another!

I reckoned Dumbledore wanted to relieve any tension between our 2 composing houses but I think a better idea would have been a good healthy duel. But then again that's just one mans opinion.

It was flying practise. Ahh did I forget to tell you that the only other lesson I'm good at is Flying practise? Because it is. And you'll never guess what…Lily absolutely SUCKS! Just don't tell her ok, because when she hits you it is hard, trust me.

I mounted my broom and kicked off.

"Well done Mr Potter, now give me 5 laps of the court and I may just let you go to lunch slightly early" I could hear Madame Hooch faintly down on the ground.

I sped through the air, the cold air whipping my face and the wind ruffling my messy hair. I felt free, like a bird. Then I felt corny for thinking such gay thoughts. Next I'll be making popery baskets with Professor McGonagall in my spare lunch times.

I saw Lily's broom spinning out of control like a spasticated toothbrush. I felt a jab of compassion. She looked so cute. I went off course and steered my broom in her direction. I hovered over her for a second before asking:

"Need any help?"

"NO, I'm fine!" She gave me a slight glare, but then was suddenly thrown off balance by a sudden jolt from her broom. She was holding on to it with one hand.

"Wait, I've got you!" I shouted through the mist, fearing for the girl of my dreams safety. I thrust my hand at her and she grabbed it. I pulled her up so she regained her balance. She seemed fine until her broom did a 360 degree turn leaving her floating upside down in mid air. It was one of those slow motion times where she seemed to be floating for hours when in reality it was only milliseconds. I didn't think. I just did. I zoomed through the air, fighting against the wind. I heard distant cries from the rest of the class but I wasn't listening. I was too busy concentrating on saving Lily from her near death. I was catching up to her. I grasped her hand in mine and tugged her onto my broom. I wrapped my arms around her waist and she didn't protest. I landed safely on the ground where we were surrounded by a bunch of people all congratulating me and flapping over Lily. She looked up at me. I thought she was about to kiss me. I hoped she was about to kiss me. She leaned forward, opened her mouth and…threw up all over me.

ReAd AnD rEvIeW pLz  



	3. A bad day gets better

**I own no one **

**----------I could have waited --------------**

"Well that was an entertaining lesson" Sirius laughed heartily.

"Yeah maybe for you" I said through clenched teeth, wiping down my robes with some tissue Madame Hooch had conjured for me.

"And for me" Remus also laughed, rubbing a stitch in his side.

"Me t-"

"Don't even bother Peter" I growled holding my hand up to Peters face.

"Well chums what do you propose we do now?"

"Well it is lunchtime isn't it? So technically I'm off to lunch" I departed from them and made my way to the Great Hall. I was fuming. I had just saved my dream girls life and she thanked me by BARFING all over me. Well, I suppose it didn't smell as nice as my deodorant but at least it didn't resemble the smell of rotting garbage on a hot summer's afternoon.

Yuck, how disgusting is that? I am SUCH a guy.

As you can expect I now had a garish and gruesome look on my face, and just my luck as it was now the perfect time for Lily to join me in walking to the Great Hall.

"Hi James" I wasn't at this time actually aware of Lily's sudden presence, so when I heard her distant voice utter my meaningless and failurish (is that a word?) name I was shocked. I turned my head to face her.

"Lily" I breathed. Oh great, she's just said your real name again and is making real conversation and all you can say is 'Lily'. Plus you sounded constipated when you did say it. Damn you conscience, it's alright for you, you just sit there all day putting thoughts into my head, I HAVE TO GO THROUGH PUBERTY!

To add to the insult, Lily was now looking at me as though I was some mad man; I noticed it was because I was slapping my own head while muttering obscenities under my breath.

"Anyway, I just wanted to say…thanks" I didn't know whether she was being sincere or just polite, but what happened next made my mind up. She stood on her tiptoes, reached up to my face and kissed me on the cheek.

I stood there frozen to the spot while she scurried off to the hall.

Lily Evans had just kissed me, on the cheek mind you but never the less she had _kissed_ me! LILY EVANS JUST _KISSED_ ME!

I did a small victory dance whilst ignoring the stares of passers by and one rather offensive comment made by a Slytherin 3rd year. Then I sprinted all the way to the hall hoping to bump into the other Marauders.

Luckily I quite literally bumped into Sirius, he was on his way to the Gryffindor table when I mollycoddled him and he ended up on top of me on the floor.

"You'll never guess what Pad foot!" I said excitedly. Remaining in the same unattractive position I had put him in.

"I'm sure it's great Prongs but people _are_ watching" He mumbled shoving the 55pounds of extra fat off him. I scrambled up from the floor and grabbed his sleeve.

"You'll never guess what just happened to me!"

"You're right, I don't think I will" He said dusting himself off. I ignored his comment, putting it down to PMS, I'm sure boys get it too.

"Lily_ kissed_ me!" I said even more excitedly.

"She WHAT!" Sirius shouted.

"Kissed me, she kissed me Padfoot"

"Well I didn't see that one coming" He said staring at the ground.

"Neither did I, I mean she just came up to me said thanks then kissed me on the cheek, I mean I was so sur-"

"Wait. Did you just say she kissed you on the _cheek_?"

"Yeah…why?"

"Oh, no reason" Sirius said with a little too much happiness in his voice. He also looked pretty happy, and relieved.

"Ooooook then" I said rolling my eyes. We stood there shuffling our feet for a while.

"So, wanna eat?" Sirius asked breaking the awkward silence.

"Definitely" I said thankful he had asked.

We sat down and ate in silence, talking only occasionally to ask for the mash potatoes or plate of chicken legs. It reminded me a bit of the other night when I was with Lily, Lily, the name sounded in my ears over and over again. I didn't care if it was just a small kiss on the cheek, soon we would be making out as though the world was going to end. Lily wasn't just a prize anymore. I mean at first I liked her, sure she was hott and smart, what's not to like? But when she rejected me that first time, I was suddenly so much more attracted to her then I had been. And from then on it was all about her, sure I got off with other girls too but I still liked Lily the most.

I don't quite remember when it was that my infatuation grew into a more passionate love but I no it was real, it was legitimate. She wasn't my catch; I didn't want to prove I could get her just for kicks. I really like her, LIKED her.

When we were back in our dorm, me, Sirius, Remus and Peter, a strange silence lingered in the air.

"Sooo, Prongs what was it like?" Remus asked. Sirius rolled his eyes and sighed, then he yawned. I was actually getting a bit cheesed off with him at this point; all he could do was poke fun, I started thinking the most outrageous things too, that maybe _he _also liked Lily, but that was just stupid, I mean I was probably just tired.

"It was the greatest Moony, she smelt so nice and her lips were so soft" I was off into my own dream world. I saw Sirius making fake sick actions with his finger in the corner of my eye but I ignored him.

There was silence for a while longer until it was rudely interrupted by…

"LILY!" I fell off my bed in shock, there stood Lily Evans in all her glory (hehe) wearing only her…pyjamas and a dressing gown. Thanks Lily you don't leave much to the imagination do you? And I really mean it; you look like an untouchable virgin.

Oh that was horrible of me; I mentally slapped myself and then went back to the situation in front of me.

"Hi Lily" Remus said quite casually. I gave him a small glare; didn't he know how important this was for me? Obviously not. I turned my head slowly to Lily and also greeted her.

"Hi" Wow of all the things I could have said, I said 'Hi'. And I said it weakly, like I was about to be disembowelled or something gruesome like that.

"Hi – cough – James" She said, YES SHE SAID IT AGAIN, although I could hear the strain in her voice. Ah well, I suppose I can't have my cake _and_ eat it. Even though that is a really ludicrous phrase as of course I am going to eat my cake, I mean I did buy it didn't I!

"Hi Lily" Peter squeaked, not wanting to be left out of the greeting.

"Oh yeah, hi Peter, Remus, Sirius" She said nodding at them in turn.

"What brings you to our humble abode?" Remus asked spreading his arms out as though awing a crowd with a magic trick (hey I just got the irony ha).

"I just came to talk to James…outside" She said glancing towards the door.

"Really!" I asked bewildered. Of course really doofus, she wouldn't have said it otherwise. Yes well I suppose not.

"Err yes" She said a bit weakly her self. I just stared at her in astonishment.

"Erm, James? Are you ok?" She asked, oh my goodness, I must have looked like a right constipated freak.

"Err yeah, sure, I'll just, well, lets go" I stood up and walked over to the door, closing it behind me and Lily.

We walked down the stairs in silence then took a seat on the couch.

"Sooo…" I started.

"Sooo…" Lily added. Wow how fun would this conversation be if it consisted of only 'sooo' for the next 10 minutes.

"Well, you invited me down here" I said.

"Yes, I suppose I did" Ok this is freaky, just hurry up and tell me what you want for god's sakes woman!

"Sooo…"

"Sooo…"

"Look Lily this is silly, (hey that rhymed), you asked to talk to me now you're not talking"

"I know, it's just, well, I've been thinking" I waited for the next part to come…it didn't.

"And…"

"Oh right, and I was wondering if maybe, seeing as I am pretty much a perfect student, _and_ person (can't argue with that one) if you might be able to, you know, help me with my flying skills" She mumbled the last bit…the bit where she said _help me._

"Sorry what? I couldn't hear the last part"

"If you could…help me with my flying" She still kept her voice to a whisper.

"Huh? You'll have to speak louder Lily, I don't have bat radar you know" She glared at me slightly, before turning it into a sickly smile.

"I said" she started off sweetly, "HELP ME WITH MY FLYING YOU MORON!"

I jumped back in terror and fell off the couch, bruising my rear end.

"Ok, Ok no need to shout WOMAN!"

"No need to be a prat WOMAN!"

"Excuuuuuuse me, I am the one about to help you, you know, so technically I would stay on my good side if I were you"

"What good side" she laughed. I stared at her blankly and she stopped the laughter.

"Sorry" she muttered.

"Apology NOT excepted" wait…did I just say that? Oh Hell I DID!

"Fine then, I'll just ask Sirius for help" She said all huffily.

"NO!" I shouted. She looked at me oddly, "I mean, Sirius hurt his leg today, I don't think he'll be flying for a while" Wow what a lame lie.

"Oh, is he ok? I better go ask hi-"

"NO! I mean, nah he's still a bit peed off bout it actually, you might touch a nerve"

"Oh" was her simple answer.

"Don't worry Lily, I'll help you, soon you'll be flying like a Pro, soon you'll be flying, like me"

"What? You mean an aero spasm" She choked trying hard not to giggle.

"You know someday my dear, when I'm a professional quidditch player, you'll be sticking to me like-"

"MUSSELS TO A ROCK!" She couldn't contain herself any longer, she laughed and laughed and laughed to her hearts content, but hey, who am I to complain, this way I'll get her alone and all to myself in no time.

Maybe this day wasn't so bad after all.

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PlZ rEaD aNd ReViEw HoPe YoU lIkEd


	4. A fire

If i owned anyone i would be piling in the money by truck load...not writing fanfics...so obviousli i own NO ONE!

**------------------I could have...-------------------------**

The next day I awoke to a faint smell of…FIRE! I jumped out of bed to see our curtains on fire, a petrified Peter huddled behind a chair and a frantic Remus casting random spells at the furniture.

"James, help!" Sirius shouted emerging from the bathroom with a glass full of water.

"Oh great like that will help" Remus shouted, hitting the curtain with a 10 volume Divination book.

"You DOPE SMOKERS! What the hell is going on here!" I shouted over the noisy commotion.

"Sirius decided to practise his charms in the dorm; he did a Professor Flitwick and set the curtain on fire!"

"Right, give me a minute" I whipped out my wand and muttered the same spell that had got Sirius out of trouble in class.

"Thanks James" Remus breathed, leaning against the wardrobe.

"Yeah - thanks" Sirius panted. Peter gave a little squeak of gratitude and came out of his place of hiding

"Do I have to do everything around here? Are you guys not capable enough to do ANYTHING!"

Peters face melted into a disappointed frown.

"Why do you say that James? It wasn't that bad, we had everything under control"

"EVERYTHING UNDER CONTROL! You could have died you fools!"

"Oh well SORRY that we can't all be as cool headed and collected as you, I mean it's not even like you're smarter than me, you're still pushing up A's all the time while I'm up to my ears in O's"

"Smartness isn't all Books Remus, if it wasn't for me you would be up to your ears in smoke by now!"

"Look I'm not going to take this, find me when the elastic in your pants lets the blood circulate back to your brain. I'll be in the library up to my ears in BOOKS if you want me; after all I'm only book smart" And with that Remus left the room.

"Yeah well…Your shoes don't match your jumper!" I shouted mindlessly at the door.

Sirius glared at me and followed suit leaving me alone with a sad looking Peter.

"Go on then, you leave too, I don't need them any way, they owe me, next time I won't even help" I rambled on at the poor boy while he stood there and took it.

"I don't want to leave" He squeaked. I looked at him, his eyes were sad; he looked like a little mouse, a trapped mouse.

"I didn't mean to shout you know that Peter don't you?"

"Of course I know. And Sirius didn't mean to set the curtains on fire" I looked at him again, he had a point, I was the trapped one.

"Yes…well, that was different"

"Oh yes, of course, totally a different thing" Was this the real Peter, the Peter that was so scared of speaking out that he barely spoke at all?

"Ok, Ok I get it enough with the mind games…I'll go and apologise" Peter smiled, relieved that he had got his point across without having to make me angry.

I left the room myself and went off to find my cheesed off room mates who were probably bad mouthing me at that very moment. When I finally found Remus he wasn't were he had said at all, he was helping Lily with her TRANSFIGURATION homework outside…by OUR (the marauders) tree you know the one were we planned all our schemes and pranks!

"Oh…hi James" Remus mumbled glancing at me then looking back to the book he was holding.

"Hi James" Lily smiled looking at me also then returning her attention the text book in front of her.

"Hi, I just came to say - cough – sorry" Remus looked up at me again then smiled.

"It's ok; I'm just not as good at thinking on my feet as you are"

"That doesn't matter, were would I be without you guys? I mean who else lets me copy their homework?" Remus laughed lightly and gestured for me to take a seat next to him on the grass.

"No It's ok I haven't given Sirius my apologies yet"

"Oh yeah how is Sirius by the way?" Lily asked. I looked at her oddly, "His leg"

"OH YES OF COURSE his leg!"

"What about his leg?" Remus asked.

"He hurt it didn't he?" Lily asked giving him a quizzing look.

"He did?"

"YES, he did very badly" I looked at Remus with a pleading face.

"Oh yes…very bad" Remus said confused. I thanked him quietly.

"Oh no…that bad huh?"

"YES" We shouted in unison. She gave us funny looks, shook her head then returned back to her book.

"So…I'll get going then" I said quickly. I hurried off to the only place I could think of that Sirius could be. The quidditch pitch.

I guessed correctly, he was sitting in the stalls, staring thoughtfully at a piece of lint floating near him.

"Hi Padfoot" I said shyly sneaking up behind him. He jumped half way out of his seat, and then collapsed back on the floor panting.

"Do – pant – you – pant – want to – pant – kill – pant – me!"

"Well that wasn't my immediate intention but – " I stopped short when he gave me one of those deathly glares.

"Look I just wanted to say sorry" It was easier saying it to Sirius mainly because he had been my best friend ever since…I can remember. Plus I needed to say it a lot more to him than Remus and Peter. His glare softened and he gave me a sly smile.

"Apology…accepted" I helped him up from the ground and we had one of those weird manly emotional hug moments.

When we had made completely sure we were the only ones watching the spectacle we left the Quidditch pitch to catch the last bit of breakfast.

When we arrived we took our usual seats half way up the table.

"Hi Wormtail, Moony" I said sitting down in my seat.

"Hi" They said in turn, spooning scrambled eggs onto their plates.

"So, I was thinking", Sirius started, "Our beginning of the term prank needs to be HUGE this year"

"Yep, I already have some ideas hidden up my sleeve" I winked, discreetly pulling out a sheet of paper from, well, my sleeve.

"Lets see" Remus said franticly making a grab at the paper.

"Wait, not yet Moony, we'll discuss it at the tree after classes ok"

"Ok"

"Agreed"

"Can't wait"

And with that we went to our next lessons. Ok, yesterday you had a full insight into our academic lives, now I'm sure you couldn't care less about the punch up in Potions, the freaky tea leaf prediction in Divination and the human transfiguration in Transfiguration.

Oh you _are_ interested? Ok then.

Well first we had potions, with our best friends the Slytherins. Snivellus and his nasty grey underwear strolled into the room with out a care in the world only for his happiness to be cut short when my even better friend Sirius dropped some goblin slime on the floor in front of him. Snivellus' legs flew out in odd angles as he did a sort of split manoeuvre; he stared up at Sirius with a hard expression. Now personally I wasn't scared, but some of the people who were previously laughing were now nervously glancing at the people standing around them then back to the scene.

Just then Lily came in with Alice (friend I mentioned earlier). She saw Sniv- I mean Severus on the floor and had that sympathising look in her eyes. She cautiously walked over to him and picked up his sleeve.

"Get off me you filthy Mud Blood; I don't want your germs!" Lily let go of his arm like it was on fire and took a small step back.

"Hey what did you call her!" I shouted stepping up to her defence.

"Leave it James" I heard Lily whisper behind me, but I ignored it.

"I called her a filthy Mud Blood; I'm just saying it how it is, Mud Blood LOVER!"

"That's it you're going down SLYTHERIN!"

"Oh bring it on Gryff –" But I didn't give him time to finish, I pounced on him and he sprawled across the floor.

"James DON'T!" Lily cried. I looked at her, before receiving a blow to the side of my head from Snivellus.

"Ahhh that HURT!" I screamed, throwing my fist into his stomach. He let out a small moan and crumbled.

"JAMES LOOK WHAT YOU DID!" Lily shouted at me, pulling me off of the still figure on the floor.

"I didn't…" I didn't finish my sentence as Severus was already up and pointing his wand at my gut.

"Please Severus don't" Lily pleaded.

"Oh will you shut your gob you contaminated freak, you think you're so clever so fabulous, you're nothing, NOTHING!" Lily's eyes filled with tears and I could already see the dull green they were turning.

"No one says that to my Lily", I whispered, "EXPELLIARMUS!" My wand shot out a white light and instantly his wand flew out of his hand.

"But – "

"I've never liked you Snape, but this is it, you'll be sorry you ever messed with…"

"Mr Potter" Oopsie. I slowly turned round.

"Professor" I said, smiling weakly.

"What was that Mr Potter, finish your sentence wont you"

"Err no Sir, I'm ok now, and I was just going to tell Sna- I mean Severus here that I thoroughly enjoy his company"

"I'm sure you were" Slughorn sniffed taking a seat at his desk.

"Whoa that was a close one, glad I got away with that" I whispered to Sirius beside me as we took our seats.

"Oh and Mr Potter"

"Yes Sir"

"Detention my room after classes" He said shuffling through a pile of papers.

"Of course" I mumbled, making a rude hand gesture under the desk.

Next lesson was Divination, thank goodness it was with the Ravenclaws, I couldn't stand that ugly smirk from Snivellus any longer, I was this close to smashing his peanut sized brain in.

Anyway I took my usual seat next to Sirius at the front of class, the only problem with this lesson was that Lily didn't take it, she thought it was a load of old rubbish and a waste of her valuable time.

I couldn't agree more! Well I would agree with her if she wanted me to.

So anyway, I sat on my puffy cushion and inhaled the powdery smell of the room.

"Welcome back 5th years to another year of visions, predictions and mysteries"

I sat there listening intently.

"Today we will be focusing on the art of the Tea Leaves, will every one collect a cup from the cupboard and brew your leaves so we can get started" I sat up so fast I felt dizzy and had to stable myself on someone's shoulder, little did I know I had just placed my hand on Melissa Cooks knee by mistake. She looked up at me with a pink face and mumbled something about having to get her own cup. She stood up even quicker than me and I fell back into Remus' lap.

"Get off James, you're blooming heavy" He said shoving me off.

"Thanks" I grumbled moving towards the cupboard and picking up a random cup from the shelf.

I sat back down and poured the tea into my cup.

Sirius did the same and after a few minutes we switched cups and examined each others.

"Well by the looks of it you are going to lose all your hair by your 20th birthday, marry a Troll named Barbette and get a job as a super market attendant" Sirius said a smile playing on his lips.

"Oh ha-ha Padfoot very funny" I said slightly amused.

"No really" He said seriously.

"WHAT!" I shouted grabbing the cup. Sirius burst into a fit of laughter as I kicked him hard under the table.

"Gotcha" He choked laughing so hard tears formed in the corners of his eyes.

"So what does it really say?" I queried looking at it strangely.

"Dunno" Sirius said sounding bored, checking his nails for…nail dirt or something.

"Hmmm…Professor, can you tell me what my leaves mean?" Trelawney turned her large haired head in my direction and peered at me through her dinner plate sized spectacles.

"Of course I can Harry"

"Harry?"

"I'm sorry did I say Harry, I meant…James" Her eyes did something weird and suddenly she had my full attention. When she arrived by my side she picked up my cup and for a second looked at it. Then she slowly turned to me and dropped the cup, it made a piercing noise as it hit the floor and smashed.

The room suddenly seemed darker and the tension was more evident in the class.

"You know not what you see" She said, her voice was husky and strained. Her Pupils were large behind her glasses, she looked drugged, or at the least drunk.

"Erm…ok" I gulped. I wish I had my teddy bear Frodo with me, this lady was scaring me.

"Do not be fooled by others actions…let the Prophecy be filled, let it fulfil itself!" Her voice was getting louder. Now I was really scared.

"LET IT BE FILLED!" She grabbed my shoulder and inhaled a breath. Suddenly she was normal…or as normal as she can get at least.

"Sorry about that, as you were" She walked briskly away as if nothing had happened. I looked around the class, was I the only one who heard that? Because I sure was the only one who seemed affected by it at the moment.

"Sirius…did you just hear that?"

"Hear what mate? The voices inside your head?" He smirked, but I didn't smirk back.

It was becoming a more disturbing day by the minute. I hoped Transfiguration would be a bit less drastic, but then again hoping doesn't do much.

I strolled into the class room again thankful that we were sharing our lesson with the Hufflepuffs as a pose to the Slytherins.

"Take your seats class and I welcome you to a new and fruitful academic year of Transfiguration" Wow…mind boggling speech that was.

"If you would like to get out your books and turn to page 334, we will be focusing on Animagi today"

The Marauders all turned to look at each other. We shared a smile and I winked at Sirius as he held his hands to his head and panted like a dog.

I saw Lily looking at us from the corner of her eye, I turned to smile but she turned away and continued fumbling through her bag.

"I myself am a legal Animagus" Professor McGonagall continued. She promptly transformed into a cat.

"Wow" Was the immediate reaction from the class. Remus and I shared a bored look whilst Peter was on the edge of his chair in exasperation. He had his hand up and was thrashing it around wildly in the air.

"Yes Peter" McGonagall asked when she had transformed back into a human.

"Miss, miss I'm also an a-" But luckily he couldn't spill our secret thanks to Sirius who gave him a good kick in the back of the chair. He was leaning so far forward that he flew off onto the floor in a heap.

"What was that for!" He yelled at Sirius, standing up and dusting himself off.

"Sorry there was a moth on the back of your chair" He lied.

"Oh", Peter said, "I guess that's ok then" Whoa…Peter was pretty naïve wasn't he?

"What were you going to say Peter" McGonagall said tartly, like she couldn't care less anyway.

"Oh I was just going to say…oh, wait; I think I've forgotten now"

"Doh!" I said slapping my head playfully. Peter did bring a kind of humour to our group, a stupid humour, but never the less a humour.

I of course aced the lesson with flying colours. I had my hand up for every question and got an O in my class work. How I loved Transfiguration. Lily on the other hand was red in the face by then end of it, still working on the same paragraph and piece of text I had studied half an hour ago. How I wanted to give her one big hug, rock her in my arms and say "It'll be ok". Ok she was having trouble in class; she hadn't just lost a relative.

Anyway we were assigned our home work and dismissed. Lunchtime. Yay!

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Ok SoRrY iTs A wEaK eNdInG bUt I'm TiReD aNd I nEeD iNsPiRaTiOn PeOpLe!

plz read and review any comments and suggestions welcome : D


	5. A prank gone bad

I own no one

I hope you like this chappie...come on guys i need inspiration here

**-----------------I could have----------------------**

"I can't believe you were about to tell the whole class we're Animagi!" Sirius flapped, sitting down at the Gryffindor table.

"Sorry…" Peter mumbled, just about loud enough for us to hear.

"Yeah…well you should be" Sirius finished, grabbing a cup from the table and taking a swig of Pumpkin Juice. He was so concerned about looking dignified that he choked up and spluttered, spraying juice all over the table. He received some nasty looks from the 6th years and caused a whole bunch of 3rd years to burst into a fit of giggles.

I chuckled lightly and patted him on the back.

"Thanks" he managed to croak.

I saw Lily and Alice walking into the Hall. Lily looked like she had been crying, how much I wanted to go and ask what the matter was. But she would probably just shoo me away, tell me to mind my own business.

"Hey Remus, what's up with Lily?"

"I don't know" He shrugged.

"Maybe she broke a nail" Sirius laughed trying to make a joke. I saw him also staring at her; I could tell he also wanted to know the matter.

"Go ask her" I said nudging Remus.

"Why me?"

"'Cause she likes you best"

"First of all that isn't a correct sentence, it's supposed to be 'She likes you the _most_' and secondly I don't want to bother her. If she is upset I'm sure she doesn't want me butting into her business"

"Oh Remus you flannel just go will you" Sirius said sounding resigned.

We gave him a push and he fell off the seat.

"Ouch" He moaned. We gave him a look and he got up and walked over to where Lily was now sitting.

I leaned intently in the direction of their conversation.

I could only hear small snippets though so I decided to wait until Remus came back.

When he had finished talking to them he sat back down in his seat.

"So?" The three of us asked in unison, me and Sirius sounding the most interested.

"So…she's upset" He said matter of factly. I glared at Remus.

"Yes, we gathered that…why is she upset?"

"Oh…just stuff"

"And…"

"And what?"

"REMUS!"

"Ok, ok, she just got a letter from her parents"

"Ohhh I get it now", Remus smiled, "Because I always cry when I get letters from _my_ Parents!" I shouted sarcastically.

"Hey, no need to lose your hair" Remus said.

"Will people stop telling me I'm going to lose my hair!" I said banging the table.

"Ok, sheesh looks like_ someone's_ on their period"

"Oh ha-ha how original"

"He-he I know, anyway in the letter it said that her Grandma is really ill, she's the only grandparent Lily still has, so naturally she's pretty upset"

"Well thank you for finally telling us!" Sirius said wiping his fore head with the back of his hand.

"Your welcome" Remus smirked.

I don't think you'll really care about our afternoon lessons because about the only interesting thing that happened was Professor Binns tripping over Sirius foot and landing face first in Margaret Smith's lap. This gave me quite a few laughs by the way.

So anyway let's get to the good stuff. Oh wait, I had detention didn't I. O darn it; I was really looking forward to that Prank meeting as well.

So anyway, to the detention.

"Hello Professor"

"Ahh Mr Potter, prompt I see"

"I was let out of class a little early"

"I see. I would like you to sort all the potion ingredients into alphabetic order then place them on the shelves. I have some business to attend to so I expect it to be perfect by the time I return" And with that he left.

I got to sorting out the jars straight away.

It was a thoroughly uneventful hour and by the time Slughorn returned I was lying on the floor singing western folk songs about a mother Hen and her chicks.

"_And the mother Hen lay her eggs,_

_as her baby chicks lay down to bed,_

_O mother hen wont you lay,_

_another egg for me today._

_Ooooh ooooh…"_

"A lovely performance Mr Potter, Have you ever thought of joining the school choir?" Slughorn chuckled as I scrambled to my feet.

"Sorry sir"

"Don't be. It seems as thought you have done an excellent job here. You are free to leave"

"Thank you sir" I started making my way out of the door.

"Oh and one last thing Mr Potter"

"Yes sir"

"Next time you attempt to _woo _Miss Evans I suggest you pick a victim to which you will win the fight"

"But sir I was going to win!"

"That is how it may seem to _you_, but if you proceeded to 'win' against Snape then to Miss Evans you would be the loser, do you see where I am taking this?"

He had a point, a brilliant point. Lily wanted someone mature, she deserved someone mature. Not someone who went round randomly hexing people. But I _could_ be mature…I guess. Lily just didn't see me as boy friend material, and if I didn't buck up my ideas and start to behave more like a 'gentleman' then I was never going to get a date with my blossom. He was also right about Snape. Lily had always had a soft spot for him. I don't know why though.

He smells like a farm yard.

I walked out onto the grounds and made my way to the tree. I could see Remus reading in the distance and Sirius and Peter throwing some kind of ball around.

"Hey guys" I said running up to them and sliding down the tree.

"Hi" Sirius and Peter said in unison. Remus gave me a small nod of acknowledgement without looking up from his book.

"Ok, are we gonna get started or what?" I asked unfolding the piece of paper with my scheme on.

"Sure, let's see what you got" I spread out the sheet and smoothed all the creases. Remus put down his book to have a look. (Hey I rhymed. Yay!)

"Ok, so our main target is McGonagall…" I told them the plan from start to finish, leaving out NOTHING.

"It looks good, but is it fool proof?"

"I've planned everything, nothing could possibly go wrong" But of course it did.

After dinner everyone returned to their dorms as usual. Sirius and I set up the prank while Remus and Peter kept a look out.

It was 10:45 and the last people in the Common Room were the Marauders and a small 1st year sitting quietly by the fire, studying a map of the Wizarding world.

"Hey kid, did you know that if you stay up past 10 the boogie monster jumps out of that fire and gobbles up all the little firsties"

Her face dropped and she scurried off up to her dorm.

Remus gave Sirius a serious look and punched him in the arm for being cruel.

At around 11 we were ready to put our plan into action. Everything was set.

"GO, GO, GO!" I shouted. Sirius set off a bunch of Filli buster's fireworks which lighted up the room. The noise was tremendous.

"Peter now!" I said. Peter left the room to get McGonagall whilst Me Remus and Sirius continued to unleash our plan.

The noise had attracted attention from the sleepy Gryffindors who were now filing out of their rooms to see what had disturbed them from their beauty sleep.

"Now!" I shouted to Remus. He aimed his wand at the ceiling and cast a spell. Suddenly frogs began falling from the sky, followed by a swarm of newts.

The girls screamed and even some of the boys. It was bliss to watch.

Peter had been gone for a while now; I expected him and McGonagall to arrive any minute. I heard someone outside the portrait hole. This was it; I just wish I had a camera.

The door swung open and a bucket full of honey on top of the door started to fall dangerously on top of the person who had just walked in.

Little did I know that the person about to walk in was…?

"LILY!" The bucket toppled off the ledge and poured its sticky, syrupy, contents all over my, would be girlfriend. She looked like a large honey cone.

"POTTER!" She screamed. Attempting to stamp her foot for emphasis but instead tripping over her own feet and slipping over onto her rear.

I didn't wait around to see her get back up as I had already run back up the stairs, entered my room and slammed my door securely behind me.

What a disaster, I had covered everyone _except_ the one who I had planned to coat in a gold glaze.

I was screwed. Lily would never talk to me again. And this I was almost sure of.

"James" Sirius called from outside the door. He attempted to twist the door knob but my grip tightened firmly over the one inside the room.

"Open up mate" He tried again.

"I can't…why did this have to happen Sirius? We were supposed to get McGonagall. Not Lily!"

"Hey James shit happens, we can't let it get us down"

"But it's LILY!"

"I know" And it sounded as though he did, because he suddenly went very quiet and stopped trying to get into the room.

"Sirius?" I asked.

"Hmm"

"Are you ok?"

"Huh...Oh yeah, I'm fine" Obviously he wasn't.

"Wanna come in?" I asked, opening the door slightly.

"Sure" He pushed open the door and entered.

"So…" I said.

"So" It reminded me of that time I had with Lily. Hey why does everything I do with Sirius remind me of something I do with Lily? I just hope I'm not reminded of Sirius when me and Lily have our first kiss. Yuck!

"How's Lily?"

"Apart from the fact she looks like she's just stepped out of a large vat of honey and she's red in the face with frustration she's doing fine"

"Oh…" I hung my head in shame.

"Remus is with her" I looked at him.

"She's not mad at Remus?"

"Course not; she's never mad at Remus"

"Yeah…I suppose that's true"

"Personally I'm quite offended by it but you know…" I nodded my head in agreement.

"So…"

"So. Wanna go get something to eat from the kitchens?"

"Sure" I bounded up off the bed and made my way to the door.

"Hey Padfoot"

"Yes Prongs"

"Do you think Lily will ever talk to us again?"

"Dunno mate, but I sure hope so. I hope a lot" And with that we left the room and didn't return again till the next morning.

* * *

**I hope you liked it...plz read and review all comments welcome...unless of course they're mean hehe **


	6. A dream

I own noone

**----------------I could have waited-----------------**

The next morning I skipped breakfast, I took the time to reflect on yesterday's events. I lied down on my un–slept-in bed and closed my eyes. It wasn't long before I had drifted off into an un easy sleep and was dreaming the most freakish things.

I was in a house. I couldn't recognise it at first but as I searched deeper into it I recognised it as my Fathers old house. I had visited it once before as a small child when his brother, my uncle Ernie was still living there. But why was his house in my dream? Suddenly I saw my uncles dog Sunny at the top of the stairs…he was a friendly dog but at this moment he had a crazy look in his beady black eye, he leapt at me and as I backed away I fell through a cupboard door. I closed the door and on thanking God I was safe I turned round to face a corpse reaching out to touch me. I screamed and ducked beneath him. Almost immediately I started to spin through some vortex, swirling this way and that, I landed with a bang on a stone cold floor.

I saw a flash of red. Lily was in my dream. Now this was more like it, I thought to myself as she began walking closer and closer. I picked myself up and stood still while she kept towards me. Suddenly a piercing shriek rang through my head.

"HELP!"

"JAMES HELP!"

"SAVE HIM JAMES, LEAVE ME, AND GET HIM!"

"SAVE OUR SON!"

It was all coming from Lily's mouth, but Lily wasn't moving anymore. She was suddenly on the floor in a thriving position. What was going on? Who the hell was Him? Wait…did she say…our _son?_

"AVADA KEDAVRA!" Was the last thing I heard. A flash of red and…

I woke up panting, I hadn't noticed whilst asleep but I was clenching my fists so tightly that my nails had cut through my skin and my hand was bleeding.

I could see the spots of red and the dry blood that stained my wrists but for some reason I was numb. I couldn't feel the pain. I couldn't feel anything.

"James mate we missed you at breakfast, what's up?" Sirius asked me as I sat down in my seat for Charms.

"The sky" Hey I know it's lame but I wasn't in the best mood for small chat, I had too much on my mind. Like the fact that I dreamt me and Lily had a son.

"What happened to your hands?" Remus asked nodding at my bandaged fists.

"Oh…burnt them under the hot tap" Sirius took this with a roll of the eyes and Peter gave a small nod but Remus could tell this wasn't the reason.

"Bad dream?" He asked. Wow he was good.

"Hmm" I said simply. Well, grunted at least.

I received a sympathetic look from my friends but ignored it and got out my book and quill.

"We are focusing today on the levitation charm, you can practise along with me now, swish and flick" He forgot to mention that we were not yet supposed to use our wands so when little Peter swished and flicked he levitated poor little Flitwick so he was hanging a couple of inches above the ground in mid air.

"Oh Sir, sorry sir" Peter said franticly, thrashing his arm around. He brought Flitwick with him and sent him soaring through the air before finally dropping his wand and Flitwick with it.

"That's quite all right Mr Pettigrew", Flitwick said as Melissa helped him up from the floor and he brushed himself off, "Quite impressive actually, Humans are in fact very hard to levitate; I think it must be my light weight"

I chuckled slightly at this. You see to me light weight meant a different thing…but that's another story, which in fact is going to be explained later on in _this_ story.

"There are various objects around the room for you to levitate, you must focus hard on the object, then swish and flick"

I decided to start easy, levitating a feather, but I just couldn't get the hang of it. I tried and tried but it just wouldn't work! I looked over to where Lily sat, half expecting her to be levitating Flitwick's desk but instead I saw an empty seat.

"Hey, Padfoot…where's Lily?"

"Lily? I'm not sure mate…I didn't see her at breakfast either"

"I expect she's still trying to get the honey out of her hair" Remus said, sounding a little guilty himself.

We stayed quiet for a moment…almost in mourning for Lily.

We continued the silence for most of the lesson; we only talked when packing up.

"Now who would like to take Miss Evans homework to her?" The Marauders looked at each other and without thinking each of our hands shot up.

"Oh well, Miss Evans _is_ popular isn't she?"

"Sorry sir but what's wrong with Lily?" I asked a look of curiosity spread on my face.

"She's Ill Mr Potter. Woke up this morning feeling faint, then she collapsed"

We turned and looked at each other again. We didn't need to speak to know what each other was thinking.

What was up with Lily? Did it have something to do with us?

After morning classes we rushed straight to the infirmary.

"Madame Pomphrey, is Lily here?"

"Lily? Ah miss Evans, yes. Third bed on the left, next to the green 1st year."

"Thank you" Remus muttered before racing off.

She was lying down eyes closed. She looked so peaceful; I didn't know such beauty was possible on a human being.

"Lily" Sirius said gently shaking her.

She stirred a little before turning over on her side.

"Lily" Remus said, patting her lightly on the arm.

She mumbled something unclear and rolled back into her previous position.

"Lily" I said stroking her hair.

She made a sort of snoring noise and turned back onto her side.

"LILY!" Peter shouted in her ear giving her a push.

She screamed and fell out of bed.

"Are you trying to kill me!" She yelled. I stack out my hand for her to grab. She was about to take it before looking at me and helping herself up.

"We just wanted to bring you your Charms and Herbology homework" Sirius said sheepishly handing her the books and assignments.

"Well thank you, but you could have waited till I had woken up!"

"It was funner this way" I grinned. She glared at me.

"Remus will you please tell Mr Potter that I do not find his 'humour' very amusing"

My face fell. She wouldn't even talk to me anymore, and she was back to calling me Potter. Face it James, you've really cocked up this time.

"Err James lily says-"

"I know what Lily bloody said you moron!"

"Hey no need to get your ladies knickers in a twist" Sirius said.

"Oh and Remus would you also please tell Black that I am not talking to him either"

Sirius jaw dropped.

"But- But that's unfair!"

"So was pouring a load of sticky maple syrup over my head"

"But it wasn't meant for you!"

"Don't care" She said spinning round to face the wall, arms folded. She looked like a stroppy school kid.

"Well I do" I said making a grab at her arm.

"Get off me Potter! I don't know who you think you are but you sure as hell aren't special enough to tell me what to do!"

"I didn't tell you what to do!"

"Yeah…well" She mumbled folding her arms again.

"You are so…AMBIGUOUS!"

"Huh?"

"You are making me APOPLECTIC!"

"Come again?"

"I am getting extremely FRACTIOUS!"

"That's all very nice but I don't really understand any of these words"

"Oh that's too bad. Well here's two I'm sure you'll understand…BOGG OFF!"

"Ah, now that I understand" I grinned. Lily shrilled in frustration and stormed off out of the infirmary.

"But Lily you're Ill!"

"SCREW YOU POTTER, YOU'RE THE SCUM OF THE EARTH AND I HATE YOU!" She absolutely screamed the last part for extra emphasis and then slammed her foot hard on the ground, it was so hard in fact that we all heard her scream in agony as she cupped her foot in her hand and hopped down the corridor.

I wanted to die; my only life line hated me! Grrrr, I felt like breaking something, I felt like smashing something, I felt like screaming…instead I ate.

Luckily all my fat was muscle through all the Quidditch and stuff, if I didn't play Quidditch I would be as fat as that dude in Ravenclaw, the one that had to be smothered in butter so he could fit through the portrait hole. I ate tons, I mean in this story I've already pigged out twice in the kitchens, and both times were pretty much in the same day.

"Hello?" I called out as I reached the portrait of the fruit and entered the kitchens.

I heard some shuffling and a scurrying noise but I just assumed it was the house elves.

I wandered in and sat myself down next to the fire, the chair I was sitting on was teensy but I just about fit my (sexy) bum on it.

A house elf walked over to me and bowed its little head.

"A cookie for sir" He handed me a tray full of biscuits galore.

I took a Jammie dodger, because it reminded me of Lily, my little red headed Jammie Dodger…not that she was dodgy or anything!

Damn I was confusing myself, it must be the depression.

Anyway I was focussing hard at me feet when I noticed a glass on the floor, next to my shoe.

It had what looked like a fizzy orange drink in it but what really caught my eye was the little smudge of wet lipstick on the edge of the glass.

Someone was in here…and it wasn't an elf.

"Hello?" I called out again.

No reply.

"Anybody there?" I asked.

Nothing.

Suddenly I heard a small whimper and span round so fast I knocked over the little chair.

I saw a flash of blonde hair. I hoped it wasn't a Slytherin whore.

Nah, if it was they wouldn't hide from me.

I followed the shadow of a girl but it was suddenly lost when she turned a corner and disappeared into a dark corner.

"Come on this isn't funny anymore" I said quite irritated.

I heard nothing.

"Please just come out; I'm not going to eat you!" Ha the irony of that…in a kitchen and everything.

Still nothing. I was not in the mod to play games so I punched the nearest thing I could reach. A large shelf full of jars and some other dangerous things not meant to be tampered with.

When I punched it, it swayed a little before toppling over. It was about to hit me, I was going to die a virgin. At the age of just 15.

I closed my eyes and waited for the pain…but it never came.

* * *

Thanx for readin plz review all comments welcome hehehaha MWUHAHAHAH! cough splutter cough 


	7. A heaven in your arms

**I own no one apart from melissa but no one cares bout her anyways **

**-----------I could have-------------**

"Am I in heaven?" I asked groggily as I attempted to sit up. I couldn't open my eyes properly; all I could see was a bright light.

"Nope, just the school hospital wing" I could hear a voice say, whose voice I couldn't quite decipher at the moment.

"Lily?" I asked, knowing full well it wasn't Lily at all, maybe just hoping that she had decided she was actually in love with me and had changed her voice in the past 2 hours.

"No" The person whispered, she (I could tell by the feminism of the voice) must have had her hand under my head because as soon as I said this she must have taken her hand away and I fell back on the bed I was lying in without any support.

"Who are you?" I asked still a bit on the groggy side.

"Melissa, you know the one who made a complete fool of herself in class, over…you" She chuckled slightly before sighing and resting her hand on my forehead.

"What happened?"

"Well you were about to get crushed beneath a shelf 17 times your own weight but…" She stopped for some reason, my vision was getting better and I could see a faint outline of her.

"You saved me"

"I wouldn't call it that…" She stopped again, "I would call it more a selfless and dangerous act of heroism"

I knew, even under the influence of some kind of potion, that she was trying hard to impress me, she made it sound as thought I owed my life to her. And hey I suppose in some ways I did.

"Thanks" I said grinning, I could finally make out her face and wow was she amazing. I don't know why I didn't like her, and then I remembered Lily's face.

That's why I didn't like her…

"Your welcome" She said smiling. Damn her teeth were so white…and perfectly straight.

"So…can I go back to my dorm now?" I asked starting to sit up.

"Err, I'm not sure, Madame Pomphrey was pretty worried about you, you had an awful fall when you fainted"

"But I feel f- ahh!" as I got to the sitting up position I felt a great pain in my side, then a pain almost like my head was splitting in half.

"Hey, lie back down" Melissa said supporting my head as she lay me back down.

"Thanks…again" I mumbled.

"No problem"

"So do any of my friends no I'm here?"

"I'm not that sure…you've been here for about 3 hours though"

"THREE HOURS!"

"Yep…you were unconscious for most of the time too"

"Oh Merlin! I didn't know I was _unconscious_!"

She giggled slightly then adjusted my pillow for me.

"Didn't you dream anything then?" She asked her eyes shining brightly.

"Nope…and I'm glad, I've had enough of dreams to last me a lifetime" She looked at me curiously and was just about to open her mouth to speak when I saw Sirius running down the infirmary towards me.

"James mate we've been worried sick…well Remus and Peter have" Sirius said breathlessly as he rested his hand on my bed stand.

"Thanks for that, so am I to take it that you weren't worried?"

"Course I wasn't, since when do I ever have to worry about _you_ James?"

"Good point" I said attempting to grin but stopping because it had started to hurt my jaw.

"So, you saved my main man then Mel? He owes you a lot" Sirius smirked then gave her a small wink, just one small flick of his eye lid. How much I just wanted to swing a punch at him at that moment, but it hurt to even lift my arm.

"Nah, not really I just did the thing any person would have done"

Sirius raised his eyebrow, he was thinking, (and I know this), how could this girl be so blonde? I was literally waving James in front of her and she still didn't take the bait. I smiled slightly at the fault in his plan.

I saw Madame Pomphrey hustling over to my bed side; she placed a small cup of something green looking on my little table and with one sharp look at my friends she hustled back off again.

"Gross James that looks like phlegm!" Sirius said disgusted as he swished round the funny liquid in the cup.

"Thanks" I muttered eyes dark and serious looking.

"Your welcome mate…what did I do again?"

"Never mind Sirius" He shrugged then started talking animatedly to Remus who was standing next to him.

"I brought you some Bertie Botts every flavoured beans James"

"Wow thanks Peter" I took the box and tore it open; to find that half were missing.

"Oh yeah, I did get a little hungry on the way up here, sorry about that" He mumbled blushing slightly and shuffling his feet.

"That's ok mate, thanks for the thought" I smiled and he smiled, a really wide smile, he resembled almost a child at Christmas.

"So how are you feeling now James?" Melissa asked feeling my forehead.

"A lot better thanks. There's only one thing that would make this better" I said.

"What? What is it; I mean I can get it for you if you like?"

"Lily" I said softly.

The poor girl turned the same green as the potion I was about to swallow. She muttered something weak about having to feed her spider and quickly hurried out of the wing.

"Prongs you plonker why'd you do that for!"

"What?" I put on an innocent face.

"Don't play innocent with me; you know exactly what you've done"

"No I don't! I'm serious!"

"No I'm Sirius" He chuckled slightly forgetting to shout at me.

"Oh ha-ha Sirius that jokes about as old as your grandmother and she's been around for donkeys years!"

He scowled a little at me while Remus and Peter laughed heartily with each other.

"Well that's the last time I come to see you in pain" Sirius said and strutted off in the same direction as Melissa had just moments before.

The rest of us were still laughing by the time he left so we didn't attempt to call him back.

"So anyway what were you doing playing with the shelf anyway?" Remus asked wiping a tear from his eye.

"Well I thought I was in there alone but I heard something, so naturally I went to investigate it. I was getting really stressed out that it was hiding from me that I punched the shelf. Then I woke up in Melissa Cook's arms"

"Wow…I know a lot of people who would love to be the main character of_ that_ story" Remus said stroking his chin.

I nodded slightly then picked up the glass and with one swift move drank and swallowed the greeny yellowy goo.

"Argh, that is some NASTY stuff" I grimaced swigging some water from another glass on my bed side.

Remus and Peter went into another fit of childish giggles and sat them selves on the side of my bed.

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I was getting really psyched because I was told I didn't have to attend class's tomorrow and then suddenly I was as psyched as you could get because in the morning as I was waking up and getting ready for a day of lazing around I saw my beloved Lily walking into the infirmary and taking a seat on one of the beds opposite me.

"Here you go Miss Evans you take this and try to get some sleep" I could hear Pomphrey say handing Lily an orange fluid. Hey how comes she got orange and I got a snotty green colour, life sucks like that sometimes.

Lily looked really tired and as soon as she had taken the potion she stirred a little then fell straight back on her pillow. It must have been some kind of sleeping potion, or she was just really sleepy.

This cheesed me off a little because I was hoping to have a nice cosy chat with her but then again she didn't like me much at the moment anyway.

I sat quietly for a while before hearing a small cough.

I jolted my head in the direction of the noise hoping it was Lily awake but all I saw was a painting.

I eyed it and noticed that there was a person now sitting in it were as before it was empty. My eyes flashed across the wall and I noticed that there was another person in the portrait next to it.

"Oh hello there Gertrude, didn't spot you there"

"Hello Jebediah, nice morning isn't it?"

"A spiffing morning Gerty, in fact I was hoping to have a small game of badminton over in Lord Worthington's frame later on"

"That sounds Joyous my dear, maybe I could pop over for a visit also"

"I'm sure there is enough tea to go around, why don't you"

I was watching the portraits with fascination, of course I had seen the paintings move, but never had I seen them, in all my 5 years at Hogwarts, hold a conversation about Tea and Badminton.

They continued their conversation with out noticing my fascinated expression, they then went on to a discussion on the colour beige.

"I've never like for the colour myself, but I must say it suits Lady Bosworth very well, you know with her complexion"

"Yes I agree fully my dear, she looks a million sickles in it doesn't she?"

"Indeed she does"

This was such a random topic of conversation but I was that bored that I found it extremely intriguing.

The clock struck 12 and it rung through the whole castle, I covered my ears and watched as the paintings on the wall shook slightly.

"Ahh 12 o'clock, funny time 12 o'clock"

"I totally agree my dear 12 o'clock doesn't come round very often now does it?"

"Nope, hardly ever"

How the hell I found this interesting is beyond me, but hey this is me we're talking about, I find the strangest things amazing. Take Peter for instance (laughs inwardly).

So anyway moving back to the real story, I was just about to drift off into my own sleepy spell when I saw Lily's head lift slowly from her pillow.

"Lily" I breathed.

* * *

And scene... 

Thats a wrap people plz read and review and ill look forwrd to all comments hope you like


	8. A first kiss

**I own no one at all apart from the gryffindor at the end...who btw is supposed to be very good looking ;) but anyway... **

**------------I could have--------------**

"Lily" I said again. She stared straight ahead at me with a far away look in her eye, she was really scaring me now.

"Lily?" I said once again.

She kept staring at me, suddenly her arm swung down by her side, it crept behind her back, she brought it back up so I could see it, she was now holding a pillow.

"POTTER!" She suddenly screamed, she flung the pillow at me with all her might and got me right in between the eyes.

"OUCHIES EVANS WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR!"

"That was for being you!"

"Well that was a civil reason, thanks"

"You are so not welcome!" She huffed and folded her arms.

"You are just sooo…unbelievable you know that?"

"Don't know, don't care"

"Yeah…yeah well…maybe I do" I said also folding my arms.

"How very nice for you" She said tartly.

"Well maybe it is" I said. This was turning into one childish argument.

"Look, all I know Potter is that I'm stuck here for the whole day due to some 'illness' of some sort and I don't want you even breathing the same air as me let alone using that air as a way of talking to me"

"Oh" That was all I said, my face fell and I could feel tears welling up in my eyes.

"Yeah…well…look I didn't mean it like that, it's just that…"

"No…I understand, it's just that I'm not good enough for you right? Not worthy enough to even grovel at the feet of Princess Lily, not even fit to be a slave boy" I spat, venom searing out of the corners of my mouth, I was so pissed off. I had tried everything to get her to like me, but maybe it just wasn't worth it anymore, maybe I should move on. Wait…what was I saying? Of course I can't move on…I love this girl.

I now had a completely constipated look on my face because I was inwardly arguing with myself.

"James…I don't want you to think that at all" I looked at her.

"You called me James"

"Oh…yeah…I guess…I…did" She said with a few pauses in between.

"And you didn't deny it" I added…just to make sure it was real.

"Yeah…spose I did" She was rapidly going red.

"Well…thanks" I smiled so wide it felt as though my smile was escaping my face.

"So…about those flying lessons…" She said turning away, "When do we start coach?"

Yes, Yes, YES! Lily Evans was sooooo MINE!

We were getting along just fine that day, no arguments, a few minor disagreements but all together it was very…comfortable.

We talked about so many things my mind went into over load, there was so much this girl wanted to talk about, so much she wanted to share, but why did she share it with me? Just hours ago she was trying to kill me with a pillow. And hours before that she told me she hated me. Women, I throw my hands up to them!

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"So…weren't you scared when you got your Hogwarts letter? I mean you must have thought it was a hoax of some sort right?"

"Not really. I mean at first I was freaked out, big time, but after a while the idea of me being a witch just kinda sunk in, the owl that delivered it stuck around for a while until I sent a reply back to whoever had sent it, and well, here I am today" She smiled. I smiled.

"You know Lily; I never quite got my head around why you didn't like me, I mean it can't have been that I wasn't good looking, because come on just look at me" I said grinning, running my hand through my hair.

"No it's not that Potter…it's just your bloody AROGANCE" She yelled throwing a pillow at me again and just missing by inches.

"Ok, ok no need to start throwing things again…I don't want you messing up my perfectly formed face" I smirked; she picked up yet another pillow and aimed it at my head.

"Maybe if you weren't such an ignorant prat I _might _have liked you!" She shouted, picking up the pillow from another bed near by.

I ducked as she started to bombard me with pillows from all over the ward. She didn't look that ill as she sped up and down the infirmary with her Ammo.

I suddenly felt a burst of energy, must have been the vast amount of sweeties I scoffed down at breakfast.

I jumped up from my bed and also went off racing down the ward picking up pillows, she saw me and quickly threw a pillow in my direction, but being the swift and agile mover I am I dodged out of the way and instead sent one soaring threw the air at her.

It got her in the knee and she sort of stacked over it. When she fell over though she landed on a pile of pillows, lucky I guess because I did NOT want to be the reason for her getting a smashed in face.

I burst out laughing as she hurriedly picked herself up and collected her pillows.

"Oh you are sooo going down for that Potter!" She laughed chasing me up the isle.

"I don't think so Evans, in case you hadn't noticed, I OWN pillow fights!"

"Oh, did you use the money you earned from being a male prostitute to buy them then!" She said still laughing hard.

"Hey I resent that, I earn all my dosh selling dodgy gear to old men in alleyways" She burst into another fit of laughter, then suddenly picked up speed on the chase.

I was backed into a corner.

"Now you have two options. Take this like a man…or take this like Potter" She said quite threateningly but with a slight smile on her face.

"Well then…I think I might have to take it as Potter" I dropped the pillow I was holding and grabbed her arm, then I slid my other arm around her waist and pulled her into me, I looked down at her flushed face, her eyes were flashing a bright emerald green. I closed my eyes and leaned forward, I could feel her hot breath against my skin, I waited for her, she leaned closer and our lips connected.

I could swear I heard fireworks in the background, and I could see a bleary vision of those little fat babies in nappies with bows and arrows in the pitch black.

Butterflies swarmed my stomach as our kiss deepened, it was always as I had imagined, but…better.

It felt as though I was now whole, that there was a part of me before that was incomplete. This was the best kiss I had ever had; it was the best moment of my entire life.

I didn't want it to end, but I was running out of oxygen.

We slowly parted our lips and inhaled a few times before leaning in again.

It was even better this time, if that was possible. She tasted of cherries, and slightly of mint. I slid my tongue deeper into her mouth. Wow was she a good kisser. I just hoped she hadn't had too many occasions to practise here snogging actions.

It was time to part again, this time though we didn't kiss again.

"James we shouldn't be doing this" Lily whispered, tears swelling up in her eyes.

"Why?" I said softly, stroking her cheek.

"Because" She was in tears now, she pulled away from my grasp.

"Lily, there's nothing wrong with it, it was perfect"

"I know"

My face lit up, she had said it was perfect.

"So what's the problem?"

"I don't want to get attached James, I'm scared, I don't want to be hurt"

My smile faltered, she thought I was going to hurt her…how could she think I would hurt _her_?

"I…what do you mean? I won't hurt you Lily…I would never hurt you"

"I'm sorry James" She whispered backing away from me; tears were now streaming from her eyes. "I'm sorry"

She turned around and ran out of the room in hysterics. I suddenly didn't feel so good anymore and fell back on my bed again.

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I lay staring at the ceiling for what felt like hours, trying to gather all my thoughts. What had just happened?

Why was she scared I would _hurt_ her?

What time is lunch because I am STARVING? Ok straying a bit off subject here, but all the sugar from those sweets had now burned away and I was as tired and as hungry as a…hippo!

My thoughts were suddenly disturbed as I heard a cry and a lot of shouting from outside the door. The next thing I saw was a Gryffindor 7th year I recollect meeting carrying someone into the hospital wing in their arms.

He laid her down on the nearest bed and I saw that the person he was carrying was actually Lily.

"What happened to her?" Madame Pomphrey asked nudging the boy out of the way so she could see Lily.

"I don't know, she was just standing up in the common room completely fine when all of a sudden she collapsed, I didn't know what to do"

"Don't worry you did well, just give her some space"

It looked as though Professor McGonagall had followed the boy as she was now standing franticly beside Lily's bedside.

"Poppy do you think she'll be quite alright?"

"I don't know Minerva she's been quite ill, I don't know why she even left the ward, I don't think I gave her my permission" I felt a sudden twinge of guilt, after all I was the reason Lily even left her bed this morning.

"What is actually the matter with her Poppy?"

"That's the whole problem Minerva…we don't know, there has never been a case like this before, muggle or otherwise and this means that there is a chance that she can not be cured"

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AnD tHaT eNdS tHiS cHaP pLz ReAd AnD rEvIeW and please give comments and suggestions

thankyou


	9. A fit of panic

**I own no one... **

**---------I could have------------**

I sat by her bed side for hours that day, stroking her hand, brushing the hair from her face, talking to her. She was unconscious I know, but I was sure she could still hear me.

I began singing to her…the song, I know was cheesy, I mean of course it was, that muggle lady Madonna something or the other sang it…I remember hearing it once or twice, ok about 10 times, on Holiday…Crazy for you I think it was.

"_I see you through the smokey air  
Can't you feel the weight of my stare  
You're so close but still a world away  
What I'm dying to say, is that_

_I'm crazy for you  
Touch me once and you'll know it's true  
I never wanted anyone like this  
It's all brand new, you'll feel it in my kiss  
I'm crazy for you, crazy for you…"_

I sang and sang, I didn't care if this was the corniest muggle song of all time, I didn't care if I sounded like a drugged donkey, I just thought that maybe…if she could really hear me, that she might…start to realise that I love her more than air.

It was no use…if anything my singing had killed her, because she was less alive then ever at the moment, her breathing was hushed and her hand was growing cold. I cried…I cried so much that I had to take off my glasses because they were now completely steamed up.

"Lily…Lily wake up, please wake up Lily…I love you" I closed my eyes and held her hand to my mouth. I kissed her gently and rubbed her fingers in an attempt to keep them warm.

"Don't worry dear, she'll be as right as rain in no time" Pomphrey said, though her eyes told me a completely different story.

"But Madame what if she isn't? What if she stays like this forever?"

"I'm sure she wont Mr Potter, Professor Dumbledore is already on the case of writing to the muggle hospitals and chemists in search for urgent medical attention for Miss Evans" I nodded. I wasn't actually taking any of this in. I didn't care about anything but Lily being cured, I didn't want to know about what was being done…I wanted to know why it was taking so long to be done.

"Who knows she's here?" I asked not looking away from my angels face.

"I'm not sure Mr Potter but I should think Professor McGonagall has informed her class mates"

"No, she couldn't have…if she had they would all be here right now" I suddenly felt a swarm of anger fill me, why wasn't anybody here? Why didn't anyone want to know how she was?

Wait…I was just being paranoid, I'm sure there was some valid reason…I was sure of it. I was just being too protective…maybe I needed to have a sleep…but I didn't want to leave Lily by herself. My head began to hurt so much as I continued arguing with myself.

"James!" I saw Sirius running towards us. I knew he hadn't forgotten, I told you didn't I? Anyway, moving on.

"Finally, she's only been in a coma for about 4 hours now!" I said with my best evil eyes.

"Seriously Prongs mate we had no idea, we've only just been let out of a whole class detention, we came straight here I promise" He said stopping at her bedside.

Remus, Peter and Alice and Melissa also joined him.

Melissa looked at me with a blank expression and I quickly turned to look at Lily again.

"So how longs she been out cold for?" Remus asked, stroking her cheek, which by the way made me just the teensiest bit angry…not jealous…just angry.

"'Bout 4 and half hours or so" I said cupping her hand in mine.

"She looks so peaceful" Alice said wiping a tear from her eye, "Can she feel anything?"

"I don't think so…I hope not" I said, now paranoid that she might be in pain.

"Oh yeah, I'm sure she isn't" Remus said hurriedly.

We stood in silence for a while saying nothing when Melissa broke the silence.

"Look I'm sorry Lily but I'm starved, I'm going to the great hall to get something to eat I'll see you guys later" She said giving me a cold look before sweeping away.

"She's right you know, we should get something to eat, you coming James?"

"Nah I'm not hungry, I'll stay here"

"Ok then but you need to eat something, come on Sirius"

"You're alright mate I think I'll stay here as well" I looked at Sirius evilly, why did he want to stay? We didn't need him…wow I just sounded sooo sketsophrenic just then.

"Well then, are you coming you two?" He asked Peter and Alice. She looked at her friend one last time before nodding slightly and leading the way out of the ward.

Me and Sirius remained silent for a while; we were both staring intently at Lily's also silent figure. Though I was the only one holding her hand, I think Sirius was a bit scared by the look on my face to even touch her.

"So…how are you feeling Prongs mate?"

I looked up at him with a blank expression.

"I'm fine, it's just Lily I'm worried about"

"I know…I'm worried about her too"

"Sure you are" I mumbled.

"What was that?"

"Oh nothing, nothing at all" I said icily.

"Look James mate what exactly is your problem?"

"I see the way you look at her Padfoot; I know you like her so don't bother trying to hide it"

He looked rather taken back by this comment and a red flushed his cheeks.

"Look James I'm not going to hide it, I like her yeah…but it isn't going to get in between our friendship right?"

"Actually you're wrong, because…Lily's my girlfriend and I don't want you to take her away from me"

If he wasn't astonished before he sure was now. He took a step back, an incredulous look spread on his face.

"Seriously?"

"Yeah…seriously" I bit my tongue back before I could cause anymore damage, I suddenly dreaded Lily waking to find I had spread a rumour that we were dating.

But then again…it was done I couldn't take it back now…

Sirius decided to leave after that, he quickly said a small goodbye to Lily and without even bothering to say bye to me he left.

I had really put my foot in it this time hadn't I? When she wakes she would never talk to me again would she? I'm going to be a loner for the rest of my life aren't I?

So many questions…so few brain cells to answer them with.

I was so consumed in my own thoughts that I didn't notice the distressed Lily lying next to me, a flash of her red silky hair caught my eye and I jolted my head in her direction. She was now having some sort of fit. She was foaming at the mouth and had suddenly gone rigid.

"Help…HELP!" I bellowed, trying my hardest to comfort her in her distress. I rubbed her hands franticly and steadied her arm.

Madame Pomphrey hurried over and shoved me gently out of the way.

"Oh my goodness she's fitting, Stay calm Poppy you know what to do…damn it my mind's gone blank"

"Help her!" I screamed tears streaming down my cheeks, "PLEASE HELP HER!" I was making such an awful noise that Madame Pomphrey had to get one of the few teachers in the Infirmary to comfort me. Professor Sprout, who had momentarily before hand been discussing ingredients for healing potions with the nurse, grabbed my arm and pulled me away from the scene. She hushed me as I cried out in anguish to the love of my life who was now shrinking to just a small red speck as I was dragged away from the hospital wing.

"No, NO GET OFF ME LEAVE ME ALONE I WANT TO BE WITH HER!" I screeched attempting to loosen the grip the Herbology teacher had on my arm.

"No Mr Potter, I think it's better if you stay out here for a while, it's getting all a bit too hectic in there"

"I don't CARE god dammit WOMAN!" I yelled. I think if the situation had been any different I would have received a months worth of detention for that but seeings as I was in a complete and utter state she let it off with a small sympathetic stare.

"Don't do this to yourself James…she'll be fine, you being there will just make the matter all the more real"

"But it is real…it _is_ real!" I cried, I broke down and she let go of my arm as I dropped to the floor weak and vulnerable. I slouched on the cold hard stone ground and wept, bitterly, for what felt like hour after hour.

She wasn't going to make it was she? It was all too real for my liking. She was a witch for God sake, in what is thought to be the best Wizarding School in the world. How the hell could they not cure her?

It was cruel, it was unfair, it was unjust…it was Lily.

There was so much that I wanted to tell her, so much I wanted to say, I wanted to ask her on a date one more time, I wanted to hear her refuse the proposal one more time, I wanted to act like I didn't care when really I was dying slowly inside one more time, just once more. But fate wasn't to let that happen was it…Lily was going to die and there was nothing I could do about it.

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Hey people sorri its so short this time but i ran out of ideas hope u like and plz review thanx for all the ova reviews btw 


	10. A misunderstanding

**I own no one apart from the queer at the end...but moving on **

**sorri i havnt updated in donkeys...days...but i was real busy with skl work...plus i had no inspiration anywayz i hope u like it... **

**  
**

**--------------I could have-------------------**

Have you ever had that feeling, where everything inside hurts? Not because you have indigestion, not because, in a girl's case you're on your period (don't ask…) not because you've just had your appendix taken out in an emergency operation, but because, emotionally your heart beat is stunted, the oxygen in your body fails to do its job, all feelings of self worth are being stripped from your grasp. Well that's how I felt, as I sat there, on the stone cold floor, weeping bitterly for the girl I loved, LOVE.

I didn't sleep that night as I went to bed, I lay down, shut my eyes, attempted to sleep, but it was useless, and a dream would only ruin the night anyway.

Instead, despite the grumbling of my fellow Marauders, I sat up by my desk; with my small lamp on, writing a letter that I would give to Lily.

She had survived the fit that night, though I had only found out hours after she fell back unconscious, when I went to visit her still figure again.

She looked so blissful, and a part of me was almost glad she was sleeping, this way she couldn't feel any pain. Anyway I mustn't dwell.

I put my trembling hand holding my quill to the paper and began to write…letting all of my remaining emotions flow out of the pen's tip.

_Lily, _

_I'm writing this Lily, at 12 in the morning. I can't sleep knowing that you're down in the infirmary all by yourself. I wanted to stay, I promise you I would have stayed, but Madame Pomphrey literally threw me out after I attempted tying myself to your bed post. In some ways Lily, I almost feel responsible for you being ill; after all I am the cause of all your stress…then there was the kiss, I didn't think I was that bad a kisser, but I obviously am if you collapsed straight after. Great…now I'm just babbling on about nothing, well I didn't start writing this letter just to tell you that you collapsed, because of course you already know that, well I think you know that, I don't really understand how this whole unconscious thing works really. Ok what I'm trying to say Lily is that I love you…_

_I don't know what to say to you that will make you realise_ just_ how much I love you; I love you more than air itself. You eyes sparkle like emeralds but are worth more than all the gold in universe, your voice sings sweeter in my ears than a chorus of birds in May. Your touch…without it I am driven to insanity Lily we were meant to be, I dream about you more than I sleep, I talk about you more than I have breath and I think about you, well I think about you more than there is time in the day, I love you and nothing in the universe will ever change that._

_So I am writing this just to say Lily that no matter where life takes us, no matter how far away we are from each other, whether we be in different time zones or different realms that my love for you will stay as strong then as it ever was._

_Love from the boy who loves you more than air itself, more than all the riches in the world, love from…_

_Well, I'm sure you know who this is from Lily, from the boy who has loved you since he has laid his eyes upon yours, the boy who will continue loving you until you close those eyes for the last time, this is from me Lily, this is from the boy who wont stop until he has you in his arms._

_Love from_

_James_

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx (I would write many more of these kisses but I've just run out of parchment)_

I lay down the quill, tears started to from in the corners of my eyes; I let one tear trickle down my left cheek and splat onto my parchment before franticly wiping them away. I jumped suddenly as a voice in the far corner of the room, Peters I imagined, started mumbling something about not "letting the giant marshmallow eat his teddy bear Melvin" I smiled slightly, Peter was always good for a laugh…though he did always seem to be the butt of the joke.

I stirred slightly as a wave of tiredness swept through me; I was straining to keep my eyes open.

The next thing I remember was waking up the next day, head on my desk, glasses askew.

"Hey there Prongs mate, rise and shine"

"Huh….what?" I asked yawning.

"It's time to get up"

"But…but yesterday, I was writing a letter, a letter to Lily…but I fell asleep…_Lily_"

I sprung from my seat and flung open the door knocking a poor Peter to the floor in frenzy. I raced down stairs and through the portrait hole. I didn't stop until I had reached the ward.

"Madame –gasp- Pomphrey –gasp- Lily –gasp- where's Lily?"

"I'm afraid you've just missed her Mr Potter"

"Missed her? What do you mean?"

"You mean you haven't been told?"

"Been told what?"

"Ahh…Mr Potter, Miss Evans has gone to a better place"

"A…a what?"

"A better place Mr Potter"

"But…no she can't be…when did this happen?" The blood was beginning to drain from my face as it all sunk in.

"Just this morning Mr Potter, took her right from our grasp"

"And…what, what happens now"

"I'm not quite sure Mr Potter, but all I know is it's for the best" She smiled slightly and began folding some empty pillow cases.

"The best?" I asked incredulously.

"Yes Mr Potter, the best…there was nothing we could do for her, and there was no reason to carry on"

"What do you mean no REASON!...and the letter…I wrote her a letter, she never got to read it"

"Well I'm sorry Mr Potter; I suppose you'll have to wait for another time won't you"

What was this lady on? She wasn't even crying…unlike me who was now spurting tears like a fountain.

"NO, NO YOU'RE WRONG…LILY'S NOT DEAD, SHE'S NOT!"

"What- Oh my goodness Mr Potter, why did you- where you in the- did you think I meant Miss Evans was…_dead_?"

"Well yes…that is what you made her out to be" I said, still streaming tears.

"Oh good heavens dear child that is _not _what I meant. Miss Evans has been taken to St. Mungos to be healed"

"That's it? She's been taken to St. Mungos? She's not dead?"

"No James, she's not dead"

I stopped crying instantly, but instead smiled a smile as wide as a rainbow…if that was possible.

"Oh thank you, thank you so much!" I said hugging her, she was a petite woman so I picked her up and swung her round. Then I let her down and did a small victory dance. I skipped out of the room and down the corridor, I was still in my pyjamas and I must have looked like a right tard but I didn't care. Lily was alive, she was ALIVE!

"Hi there Minerva my dear, looking mighty fine today might I add" I sang grabbing her hand for a small kiss, I continued prancing down the hallway as she looked sternly at me and blushed just ever so slightly.

I was on bloomin' cloud nine at that moment, I stopped every so often to pick someone up or swing someone round or kiss someone on the forehead, I wouldn't have even been surprised if they shipped me off to Mungos for close examining too. I stopped suddenly.

Just because Lily was in hospital it didn't mean she was going to survive…after all I've heard of incidents in St. Mungos where people spend their lives in their, it would be like…like having a life sentence. Heck if Lily died…it would be like _me_ having a life sentence.

I had really grown up that year, it wasn't just an infatuation or a teenage crush anymore, I was deeply consumed in this girl and I was NOT about to just let her go.

I had stopped so suddenly that I had actually caused a little first year to collide into my back. She picked herself up in a fluster and sped off in a hurry.

I didn't know quite how I was going to cope without Lily, then again she never talked to me much anyway, but just seeing her face always seemed to lighten up my day. I was babbling again, I babble a lot when I'm depressed, and when I'm tired…and sometimes when I'm hungry but that's another story.

See BABBLE, BABBLE, BABBLE!

I only just managed to get through the day without her, we were supposed to patrol the corridors together later that evening as well, but instead I had to do it with smelly old Daniel Rogers, possibly the most queer boy in the universe.

"Now James, if you want we can patrol the third floor first then move onto the fifth or we can do it the other way round" He said softly touching my arm. I brushed him off and grumbled a small 'whatever you say' whilst starting to walk away.

"Hey wait up buddy" He called, catching up to me.

"What?" I asked shrugging him off.

"McGonagall told me to keep an eye on you…she told me about, about Lily" I looked at him sharply and my expression turned to stone.

"What do you mean?" I said icily, trying to keep my voice steady.

"Look mate I know how you're feeling at the moment but…"

"Know how I'm feeling…KNOW HOW I'M FEELING! HOW THE HELL CAN YOU POSSIBLY KNOW HOW I'M FEELING! LAST TIME I CHECKED_ I_ WAS JAMES; I DON'T RECALL YOU BEING JAMES! SO TECHNICALLY I CANNOT SEE HOW YOU CAN POSSIBLEY KNOW HOW THE BLOODY HELL I AM FEELING! And for goodness sake boy I am NOT your BLOODY MATE!" I bellowed flinging my arms in different directions. He slowly took a few steps back before using his hands as a sort of protection against any bodily offence I may attempt on his face.

"Look ma- I mean James I was just trying to be nice, but next time I don't think I'll even bother" He said still holding his hands in front of his face and backing off just a little more.

"No…look I'm sorry Dan, I was getting too defensive…I get a bit like that sometimes" I said smiling sheepishly.

"That's quite alright my man", He said, lightly slapping me on the back, "Next time I'll try not to touch such a tender nerve" And just as I started to like this boy he went and said something deep like this, I instantly stopped liking him again.

I barely slept that night, but I did manage to get a few winks, at least I still wasn't dreaming, I don't think I could handle another dream…especially after the previous one. No, I just wanted a peaceful sleep, one with no interruptions, maybe one that carried me all the way to breakfast…or at least till after seven. But then again…when is a night at Hogwarts ever _peaceful_?

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Plz read and review guys and i'll update ASAP! 


	11. A game

**I own no one **

**------------------I could have-----------------**

I woke up in a cold sweat, head banging and my heart pounding inside my rib cage, trying to break through the hard exterior of my chest.

"James?" I heard Sirius mumble rolling over onto his front.

"Hey Padfoot" I said breathing heavily.

"Go back to sleep" He said letting his arm to fall to the side of his bed.

"Oh charming" I muttered lying back down on my bed. I had, had another dream, one far worse than the other one. In this one…I died. Lily and I were dead. I couldn't believe the dreams I was having…plus in these dreams I was OLD! OLD I tell you, though somehow I still managed to keep my perfect figure and ravishing features.

Anyway I was now DEAD…DEAD I tell you! Honestly…these dreams really knew how to mess with a guys head.

I slept straight through till 7 after that. I hoisted myself from my place of rest and grabbed my dressing gown hanging up on the coat rack.

I made my way to the bathroom and turned the hot tap on. I cupped my hands under the tap and felt the water gush over my hands and make a shallow puddle in my palms, the occasional splash of water seeped through the gaps in my linked hands but I managed to use most of it to wash my face. I splashed the cold water onto my tired and sweaty face. I rubbed the water from my eyes and used a near by towel to dry them. I looked up into the mirror.

Perfect face, eyes a deep golden colour, flawless skin, the only criticism to be made was the few lines etched into my forehead from all the stress I had endured those last days. I looked down ashamed of myself. But why was I ashamed? I hadn't done anything…not really…unless of course if you count loving someone so much they end up unconscious.

"Prongs mate" Remus called into the bathroom.

"Yeah" I said leaning back against the sink.

"You ok in there?"

"Yeah"

"Good…well…there is something else I needed to say"

"Yeah"

"Peter needs to pee so can you hurry up please"

I opened the door and let a little Peter, franticly holding onto his Jacobs, go in after.

I heard a little squeak of thanks as he shuffled in and slammed shut the door.

"Prongs" Remus said, I ignored him and walked straight past.

"James" He said again more forcefully taking hold of my arm.

"Look Remus back off, I don't need you babying me"

"Oh the contrary James, I think that's _exactly_ what you need" I looked at his stern expression, the full moon was near and I could see the pain and weariness etched into his own face, his eyes were grey…cold.

"Moony…you don't understand" I said looking down, again ashamed.

"You don't think so huh? Try me" He said sitting down on the edge of his bed and tugging me down with him.

"I just miss her so much Remus…it was my fault she got sent to that awful place, I've heard about St. Mungos, it's full of crack pot loonies, it's a shit hole and I've sent her there!"

"No you didn't James, she was ill you couldn't have done anything about it, it's not like you _made _her leave the ward"

"Oh Remus I _knew _you wouldn't understand! Because I _did_ make her leave the ward. I _kissed_ her mate, like proper, tongues and all"

"Oh my goodness James…I didn't know, I didn't know it was that serious between you guys, why didn't you tell me earlier?"

"Well Remus I did have quite a lot of stuff already on my mind" I said looking at the palms of my hands.

"But James this does NOT mean any of this is your fault" He said putting his hand to my shoulder, I didn't mind as much when it was Remus, but I was still uncomfortable with boys touching my shoulder…I no I'm SOO anti gay.

"I'm still going to think it is though Remus…and if she doesn't come back…"

"Hey, No you can't think like that, Lily will be fine she's just going through a little rough patch, she'll be as right as rain soon, so don't go killing her off just yet" He smiled a little at me and I managed a smile back.

"Tell me something Remus, how is it that you can be involved in any prank we pull and Lily still won't get mad at you?"

"Dunno mate, guess it's just the hound dog charm" He grinned and winked at me.

I grinned back and got up from the bed.

"Thanks Moony" I said, getting ready for what I knew would be a long day ahead.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Description, explanation, visual imagery. All things that I just can not be bothered talk about today. Classes went by quick, lunch went by even quicker and before I even knew it I was reclined in my usual chair in the Gryffindor common room in front of the fire with my fellow Gryffindor chums scattered round me.

"The games called I never" Sirius said flinging a small bottle of liqueur at me.

"Are you sure we're allowed this Prongs mate?" Peter asked cautiously, eyeing the bottle with a look of concentration.

"Trust me Wormtail, you can always trust old Sirius" He said grinning. I snorted and rolled my eyes.

"Last time Peter trusted you he ended up having to be fished out of the lake by Hagrid and a 10 foot fishing net" Remus said.

"Ahh good times, I can still remember the look on the giant squids face when we fed him those Paprika Pasties with extra chilli" Sirius said with a far away look in his eye.

"Shall we just play the game" I said growing impatient.

"Fine but we should be studying for that Herbology test tomorrow, I'm still not sure where the Devils snare originated from" Remus said stroking the beard he may have in a few…decades.

"Oh to Merlin with the test it's not like I'm going to be a Herbolotician when I'm older" Sirius said huffily.

"Herbolotician isn't a word you plonk!" Remus said throwing a cushion at Sirius' head.

"Yeah well it's a good thing I'm not going to be one then isn't it" He said throwing the cushion back at him.

Me, Remus and Peter burst out laughing at this and we ended up having a good old pillow fight.

When we had all had enough we stopped to catch our breath.

"So are we actually going to play this game then?" I asked flopping down in my usual seat and swinging my legs over the side so I lay in it like a hammock.

"Sure, so the games called I never, we each start with a small bottle, if I say something like 'I never cheated on an exam' then I would take a swig, because of course I have, if anyone else has cheated on an exam then they would also take a swig ,the first person to get an empty bottle is the scummiest of us all ,don't be envious when it's me by the way. Get it?"

"I think so"

"Maybe"

"No"

"Great, so who wants to start?"

"I will", I said, "I never weed in a swimming pool"

We all drank to this, no surprise there.

"I never slept with a teddy"

Again it was drinks all round.

"I never imagined Professor McGonagall in her underwear"

There was a silence…then Peter slowly lifted the bottle to his lips.

"YUCK PETER" I said gagging.

"Well I hadn't before Padfoot said that"

"Fair enough"

The game went on like this for a while until we got to a question dreaded to be answered.

"I never kissed Lily Evans"

I looked around, I didn't know what to do, I was paralysed, it must be a trick, he must be toying with me…but why would _Sirius_ ask this question?

I lifted the bottle to my lips…lifted back my head, and poured a small amount into my mouth, I swallowed and looked up to see Remus _also_ drinking.

"MOONY!"

"It was back in first year James, it wasn't anything important"

"You kissed Lily and that isn't anything important!"

"It was just a small peck on the lips, I promise"

"No wonder she's so nice to you"

"Well I think it's hard for her to like me now when she's just been snogging_ your_ face off"

"Wait, you've_ both_ kissed Lily!" Sirius said exasperated.

"YES!" We yelled at the same time. I began to argue with Remus, I was shouting the odds that I didn't notice my little alcohol bottle balancing dangerously on the edge of the table. I accidentally kicked the table leg and the little bottle dropped off onto the floor, smashing into tiny little pieces.

Everyone stopped arguing to look at the little bottle now a shatter of miniscule pieces of nano-sized shards of glass.

"Hey look at that…James has no liqueur left"

"Yeah look at that"

"Not a drop"

"Great" I said, I was the scummiest of the scummiest. They might as well have crowned me 'Prince Scummy, heart breaker and feud maker'.

This was were my life was going…

And as I cleaned that glass up from that floor that night I thought, this is exactly what I've got to do with my act…clean it up.

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Sorri for the feeble end guys but please read and review as usual thanx agen and i'll get an update as soon as possible 


	12. A pinch of reality

**I own no one**

**---------------I could have------------ **

I didn't feel much like sleeping that night so after the guys had gone up I settled myself into a comfortable position on my chair and gazed into the fire.

It wasn't long till I started to fall under that spell called sleep.

My eyes slowly closed and I was whisked away into the land of dreams.

I was in a room; it was a dark room, from what I could see through the darkness it was quite large, round, painted black, so I could only see a little, my eyes were starting to adjust slightly to the darkness.

I saw the familiar red that always appeared in my dreams; yes it was Lily, though neither of us were dead, so much for the other dreams, nightmares.

She was coming closer to me, softly calling my name.

"James" Her hair was swinging down by her side, flowing beautifully as she walked still closer.

"James" She said again, her rosy lips puckered, as though she was about to kiss me.

"James" She said a little louder this time.

Suddenly the room swirled through a sort of vortex and I was in a completely different place, Lily was no where in sight.

But I could still hear her voice this time louder and with a hint of impatience.

"James!"

"POTTER!" The voice literally screamed, my eyes flung open as I felt myself being vigorously shook.

"Finally Potter I've been calling you for the last 10 minutes, what's wrong with you?"

"Lily" I said in a disbelieving voice, I pinched myself just to make sure I wasn't still in my dream. I was awake. I let out a small muffled squeak of agony at the arm I had just bruised then turned back to her.

"No it's the tooth fairy Potter, of course it's me" She said rolling her eyes.

"You're…you're here" I breathed lifting my hand to her face.

"Yes…yes I am"

"I…I've missed you so much" I said jumping up from my seat and jumping straight onto her, I clung onto her tight, smelling her familiar powdery smell and softly brushing her long smooth hair.

"Well I 'spose I've missed you to" She said slightly amused. I looked at her, my eyes now sparkling brightly, "Just a little though so don't go getting any ideas" my smile faltered a bit but when she also smiled I was reassured.

"I've felt so guilty, like it was my entire fault" I said letting go of her and holding her at arms length. It looked like she had just got back to the castle; she was wearing her own clothes, a pair of denim jeans and a red blouse which complimented her eyes perfectly. Oh listen to me James Potter, fashion fanatic.

"Oh trust you to make it all about yourself Potter" She said rolling her eyes yet again. I imagined they might fall out soon if she kept that up.

"But I did Lily, I thought if what happened between us never did then you wouldn't have had that fit"

"Look James, I was ill, extremely ill, I was bound to have that fit sooner or later and if anything it's better that I did have it sooner otherwise they might not have been able to help me"

"So…you're all better now?" I asked, searching her features for any sign of a lie.

"Yep a hundred percent, it was a clot that's all, it was a muggle thing not a curse, I was as right as rain after they fixed me up down St. Mungos, had to get some muggle help though, was sent to some other Hospital up in London"

"But they said it was incurable…and they said they had never seen anything like it"

"Well then I guess they were in a flap over nothing weren't they?" She said with a small smile still plastered on her face. I smiled back and leaned into her. She didn't move.

"So don't you want a welcome back kiss then?"

"Look James I thought you understood the first time…I just can't"

"But Lily I won't hurt you, I love you"

"James if you love me…you won't do this to me"

"Lily all I've done is love you, you can't blame me for that"

"Oh yes I can" She said laughing a little. Her voice shaking a lot.

"But…wait" I said holing my hand up as a sort of stop sign.

"What is it James, I should be getting to bed now anyway…"

"No Lily just wait a minute" I ran upstairs so fast I tripped on the last step and kind of stacked it into my room. Remus' head shot up from his bed as I banged my foot on the side of the door and let out a yelp of pain. I cursed the door and shook my fist at it. Sirius also sat up groggily, whilst Peter just kept sleeping, not even a rampage of stampeding elephants could wake him from his sleep.

"What the hell is going on!" Remus asked switching on his bedside lamp.

"The evil muffins are going to get me!" Sirius said suddenly jumping back under the covers.

"Look I don't have time to tell you now, where's the letter I wrote to Lily? Where did I put it?"

"Dunno mate, didn't you leave it in the bathroom when you went to clean your teeth this evening?"

"I might have, I'll check" I hurried to the bathroom and accidentally slid on the mat by the door. I steadied myself on the edge of the bath and looked around in search of the parchment. I was beginning to feel cold; a cool draft was coming in through the window open on the other side of the room. Peter must have left it open when he did that particularly gruesome…well…you know.

I made my way over the close it when I saw my parchment balancing on the edge of the sink, what was it with balancing objects in this story?

Anyway, a sudden gust of wind circulated the room and uplifted the letter from its place on the edge of the sink.

I jumped trying to catch it but it was out of my reach…it flew dangerously towards the open window and straight through it out into the pitch black night.

"Oh FIDDLESTICKS" I screeched in frustration stamping my foot hard on the ground and hurting my littlest toe.

I slowly made my way back down to the common room ready to face Lily, she would be mad I made her stay there when there was nothing to show for it.

I got to the couch ready to take on an annoyed and flustered Lily, but I couldn't see her. Maybe the wait was too long and she had got impatient and gone to bed.

But then I saw her, lying on the sofa, huddled up in front of the fire, hair fanned on the cushion her head was resting upon. She looked so blissful, so gorgeous, so…out of my league.

I picked up a blanket I had spread out for myself on the other couch and covered her own body with it. I kissed her lightly on the fore head and left her to sleep. She didn't need any one else disturbing her tonight.

---------------------------------------------

The next day I woke up with a healed heart and a spring in my step.

It was Saturday, the one day, or well one of two if you count Sunday, that I could rest. When I was dressed and had got down to the common room Lily had already moved herself, I suspected she was getting dressed and making herself known to her peers at that moment.

I decided to wait for her, maybe we could walk down to breakfast together. I waited, and waited, and waited some more, but she never came. So I thought 'well maybe she's already gone down to breakfast'.

I sat down at the table and ate my breakfast quietly. Lily wasn't there. So maybe she's left already, that's ok…it wasn't like I purposely wanted to bump into her. Ok it was.

I got up to leave; maybe I could have a stroll through the grounds…maybe have a little game of Quidditch before practises start next week. I could go for a dip in the lake, but it was freezing cold; I could go back to the common room and play a game of exploding snap, but the common room seemed so far away at that moment.

I could always go to the library to study…blah studying shivers.

So I just stood there for a while. When my legs started buckling beneath my weight I left the hall and stood in the corridor for a while…looking lost.

"Potter" I heard. I turned to see Lily running towards me, her all stars squeaking against the floor.

"Lily" I said smiling.

"I have something of yours Potter, flew into me this morning, nearly poked my eye out" She held up a piece of parchment…it was the note.

"Oh Lily, you weren't…I'm sorry…I"

"Don't say anything James…I just want you to know that this is the sweetest thing any boy, _person_, has ever done for me" She came bounding up to me and literally jumped on me. I tottered backwards then regained my balance.

"Well…I'm glad you like it" I said hugging her back.

She looked up at me with those big green eyes and smiled. My heart melted.

"Thank you James, for everything you have ever done for me, for all the time you've loved me when I was a witch, hey the irony, for all the times you've picked on me as a sign of affection and all the times you kept trying to win my heart after I broke yours. You know Potter, for an arrogant prat you aren't half bad"

I opened my mouth to speak when she reached up and kissed me right there and then in the middle of the corridor. It was even better than the first time if that was possible, she smelt so good, and this time…she had kissed ME.

My knees started to turn to jelly; I started to feel like a right girl. Any minute now my foot was going to pop. We parted to take a breath of air, and then connected again. It was like having second helpings of the best feast to ever be served.

I was enjoying every last morsel of the kiss, it was one I never wanted to end. But then again so was the first…and that ended with disastrous consequences.

I clung onto her for dear life as we cascaded through a tunnel of love. Oh My GOODNESS James stop with all the lovey dovey crap it does NOT suit you.

And then my conscious goes and ruins the whole moment.

No…I was wrong, _nothing_ could ruin this moment.

Nope wrong again… something _could_.

* * *

Hope u like read and review thanx all u guys ill update agen as soon as possible 


	13. A second kiss

**I own no one apart from the quidditch captain guy**

**-------------I could have------------------ **

"Some friend you are Evans, couldn't you take your love puppy somewhere else to swap spit?" I pulled away from Lily to look up into the eyes of a very angry looking Melissa Cook. Lily also spun round.

"Oh…Melissa…I was just, I was…well James lost his parchment and…"

"And you thought you might find it in his mouth!" She spat stepping dangerously towards Lily.

"Well of course they were kissing Melissa babe, they _are_ going out" Sirius said smoothly, suddenly appearing from no where.

"Excuse me!" Lily said exasperated. She turned to me, her eyes disbelieving and her jaw half way down to the floor.

"Sirius mate, what are _you_ doing here?" I asked trying to keep calm, a false smile plastered on my face.

"Dunno really, I was bored so you know…" He trailed off looking into the distance.

"Wait hold up, I am NOT going out with James!" Lily said shaking her head furiously.

"You're _not_?" Sirius said, his own jaw hanging open.

"Course she's not where did you get a silly idea like that?" I said, keeping my cool and collected posture.

"When you said 'Actually you're wrong, because Lily's my girlfriend and I don't want you to take her away from me', and as I recall those were your_ exact_ words"

"You said WHAT!" Lily screamed turning to me.

"Look Lily, I was being stupid, I wasn't thinking let's not ruin the moment hey?"

"Look POTTER you ruined the moment the day you started telling people I'm goin' out with you!"

"I didn't tell any people! I only told Sirius" I said using my best puppy dog eyes.

"Thanks" Sirius mumbled scuffing his feet.

"Look I don't know what the hell is going on here but I just want to say, thanks Lily, you _knew_ I liked James and you still go after him, you already get _everything_ Evans why'd you have to take _my_ things as well?"

"Look Melissa, First off I do NOT have everything! Secondly James is NOT yours and secondly you can sure as hell HAVE him because right now I want nothing to DO with him LET ALONE go 'out' with him OK!" Melissa looked quite taken aback by this but not as much as me. I couldn't believe her little red head, she had just gone through all this lovey dovey crappy stuff and now all of a sudden she had turned into this fiery tempered monster out to get me.

"But Lily…" I said grabbing at her arm.

"Oh get OFF me Potter; as soon as I start to let you in, start to like you, you go and open your bloody mouth, I remember why I never liked you before Potter. Because you don't bloody know WHEN TO JUST SHUT UP AND GIVE IT A REST!"

She span on her heel and turned away but not before giving me a good slap around my face.

I stood there awe struck as she stalked away. I looked around, a crowd had formed and I was now the centre of attention. Oh how my dignity had been bruised, but not half as much as my_ face_. I could feel it stinging as I lifted my own hand to touch the red mark I know had appeared.

"Ouch James, you ok?" I looked up to see Sirius standing there and much to my dismay his mouth was twitching at the sides. I gave him 10 seconds…it only took him 8 before he burst out laughing.

"Thanks Padfoot, you're a real mate, first you ruin it for me and Lily then you laugh at my poor and sad misfortune" I muttered, fixing my jaw back into place after Lily had sure smashed it out of its roots.

"I'm sorry James but it's just…since when did_ you_ ever have any trouble with girls?"

"You know Padfoot, I don't quite know whether to take that as a compliment or to kick you in the balls" I said giving him an icy stare.

"Well Prongs mate, if there's no hope for you, Mr second best looking in the whole of Hogwarts next to me, then there sure as Merlin isn't any hope for the rest of us Mr Smooth" He said grinning, resting his hand on my shoulder. I shrugged him off and began to walk away.

"I really _do_ hope there isn't any luck for _you _Sirius because I know _exactly _who you have your eye on, and that is one relationship I am_ never_ going to let happen" I whispered to no one in particular, cupping my sore cheek in my hands.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

I had Qudditch try outs that evening; the new captain was one of last year's chasers. James Darcy. They said he was one of the best around; some people said he was accepted by Chudley Cannons Quidditch team. Some even said the Holyhead Harpies tried buying him on a contract of over 50000 Galleons. The rest said the Falmouth Falcons kidnapped him and held him at a ransom unless he would play for them in the Championships.

Personally I don't think he's anything much special. Any noodle can prance around on a broom stick throwing balls through hoops, and some people say _I'm_ jealous, _me_, I'm NEVER jealous, NEVER.

"Prongs close your mouth before you swallow a fly" Sirius laughed slapping me on the back.

I was waiting for_ ages_ for my turn to try out for position of Seeker in a line of 30 other students. Sirius was going for the Keeper position like last year; we were both on the team last year and had won the cup back from those good for nothing, dirty, foul, slimy, toad like Slytherins after a decade of defeats. We _had_ to be back on the team, I mean, what would the poor saps do without us?

"Potter…POTTER!" I suddenly snapped out of my trance as I was pushed forward into Darcy himself.

"Erm, hi" I said sheepishly giving him a small wave.

"Potter we have no time for your games, what position are you playing?"

"Erm seeker, if that's ok" What the hell was happening to me? Since when did James Potter care about manners!

"Yeah sure, whatever, Black you play keeper for this play, I'll be chaser and Kim here will be a beater"

"Is that all the players we need?" I asked looking round at the other 28, freezing Gryffindors standing round, huddling close together to share their body heat.

"I said so didn't I?" He said not looking at me but instead fixing a loose twig on the end of his broom.

"Well, yeah but…"

"But nothing Potter, you're wasting enough time as it is, mount your broom and hurry the hell up!" He barked mounting his own broom and soaring through the air.

"Sure thing your majesty" I mumbled joining him in the air.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

I passed the try outs with flying colours, I was on speed, I was surprised they didn't check me for any signs of steroids. Personally I don't see the use of the things. I'm already as fit as a stick (If a stick is in fact fit). Anyway I had done so well Darcy gave me the position straight off. How chuffed was I? VERY CHUFFED!

A smile was spread across my face, Sirius had also made the team, but as he _of course_ wasn't as good as me he had to have one more play off between this girl called Becky. She was pretty cute, in a little sister, English rose kind of way.

He still beat her and she flew off crying. But I think that might have been the fact that Sirius accidentally threw the quaffle at her head.

Oh well, she would have got her pretty little head smashed in anyway, after all Quidditch _was_ a dangerous game.

The first practise was on Tuesday evening. I had already polished my Cleansweep's

Handle and brushed its tail. After all, a happy broom leads to a happy flyer. Ok that was crap but it still looked nicer.

I rested it against my wardrobe and sat down on the edge of my bed. I though about all that had happened that day. I was now Lilyless and it was all Sirius fault. Ok if I hadn't told him we were going out he wouldn't have said anything. But he was my best friend, some friend. First Remus kisses her, then Sirius wrecks it for us…I'm just hoping Peter hasn't had any illegitimate children with her who are hiding away in some cave in Switzerland somewhere. This thought made me laugh out loud and I nearly fell off the bed in hysterics. At least I could always count on old Peter to help me out and be there for me. I bet he would even_ die_ for me.

I stopped laughing and took time to breathe. I was still Lilyless after everything that had happened, but I wasn't worrying, after all I'm James Potter, and James Potter _always_ gets what he wants.

Ok maybe I was a bit of a spoilt brat, but hey, I was Handsome, pretty well off money wise, witty, talented, irresistible and pretty studious if I do say so myself. Ok scrap the studious part but I_ was_ hott and in teenage years that's the most important thing anyway.

I stood up and went over to my mirror; my long dark eyelashes made my golden coloured eyes look mysterious and dark. My high cheeks bones made my face look mature and my slightly tanned skin colour from spending the summer in Hawaii made me look strong yet perplexed. Ok…I may be the _vainest_ boy Hogwarts has ever seen, except Sirius…he was just as bad, though some said he had even _more_ reason to be vain…was he really better looking than me?. Then again as I've said before…I _also _have _a lot_ to be vain about.

----------------------------------------------

When I went to bed that night I thought about what I could do for Lily the next day to maybe make it up to her. I suppose I could take her for a romantic picnic by the lake…nah too sappy, there was always the thought of taking her down to the fountain and watching the stars whilst lying on the grass and talking about our different experiences with the opposite sex…nah too, _personal_. Well I could always sneak us into Hogsmead for an ice-cream…nah if we got caught she would _never _forget me. So what _could_ I do for her? Before I had come up with an eligible answer I had already fallen asleep and was waking up the next day 2 hours late for breakfast.

"God dammit Moony why the hell didn't you wake me!" I growled angrily trying extremely hard to get into a pair of jeans with the zipper still done up. I stack my leg through one whole and fell horribly off balance which landed me straight on the floor on my arse.

"I tried Prongs mate but you just wouldn't budge. Kept muttering something bout the 'evil blue squirrels coming to get you'" I cringed as I remembered back to my dream. They were all against me…they were coming. Anyway moving on…

"Well, you could have tried harder" I said huffily, folding my arms and resigning to wearing an easy slip on pair of jogging trousers instead of those damn jeans.

When I was ready Remus and I left the dorms. Apparently Sirius and Peter were already outside by our tree. I made a short stop to the broom cupboard on the 3rd floor were I kept a little snitch; I stole in my third year, to play with. I released him from his box and cupped him in my hands.

When I got outside I greeted the others and slid down by the tree. I was pondering on whether or not to ignore Sirius then decided it would just be too much bother and I should just act like normal as to not disturb any of the tension mounding up between us. Then my brain took a moment to take a breath after thinking that long sentence.

I let the snitch fly about a foot away from me before reaching out to catch it.

Peter looked in awe at my fast reflexes and sharp eyes. Sirius was looking bored and Remus was reading a large Transfiguration book which I think I had used to squish an extremely nasty fly the other day. I could see Lily over by the lake paddling her feet with Alice and some other friends. They were laughing and splashing each other with water. How beautiful she looked.

Suddenly Snivellus came into view. Well at least now there was something to do round here.

"Prongs I'm bored" Sirius muttered grabbing my snitch and shoving it into his own pocket.

"Read something then, or help me revise for this test we're having in Transfiguration today" Remus said shoving the book under Sirius' nose.

"Nah, _I_ already know it all" He said pushing it back.

"Here's something that'll cheer you up Padfoot, look over there, it's our good friend Snivellus" Sirius smirked and hastily got up.

"All right, Snivellus?" I said loudly. The grease ball dove into his bag for his wand, looks like I'm not the only one with good reflexes.

"_Expelliarmus_" I shouted, though it was a lazy hex seeing as I was so good at them anyway.

Snape's dirty wand flew around 10 feet away from were he was standing and I could hear Sirius bark with laughter behind me.

"_Impedimenta_" He shot at Snape, he was knocked off his feet halfway through a dive to grab his wand from the grassy patch it now lay in.

Students began to crowd round, this was getting good, the most fun I had, had since Lily nearly bit the dust.

"You – wait" Snivelly panted attempting to get up but struggling because of the invisible ties bonding him together, "You just wait"

"Wait, for what?" Sirius said coolly, "you gonna wipe your nose on us?" Snape started to swear at us and hex us but it was no use, his wand was still 10 feet away from his squirming body.

"Wash out your mouth" I said pointing my wand at him again, "_Scourgify_!"

"Leave him ALONE!" I turned to see Lily standing there hands on hips with a look of seriousness about her.

"All right there Lily?" I asked casually, taking a glimpse back at Snape who was now gagging on the soap spuds seeping through the gaps in his mouth.

"Leave him alone" She repeated, "Really Potter what has he done to you?"

"Well if you count existing…" I grinned, the crowd around me laughing intently.

"You think you're so funny Potter but you're just an arrogant, bullying toe rag, now leave him _alone_"

"I will if you just go out with me Lily" I said quickly, running my hand through my hair, "I mean we've already gone half way why not?"

"I wouldn't go out with _you_ Potter" She spat my name like venom, "if it was a choice between you and the giant squid"

"Bad luck Prongs" Sirius said, with a worryingly joyful tone of voice before briskly turning back to Snape lying on the grass, "OI!" I saw a sudden flash of light and a deep gash appeared on the side of my face, the blood spattered on my robes and I felt the cut digging deep into my skin a stinging sensation making me dizzy.

"_Levicorpus!_" I thought in my mind aiming my wand at Snape. He flew up and dangled in mid air, his robes fell over his head to reveal a pair of skinny legs and slightly greying underwear. We all roared with laughter as the crowd applauded.

Lily for a moment looked as though she was going to smile, but her face soon turned stony with an icy expression.

"Let him down!"

"Certainly" I replied muttering the counter curse beneath my breath and letting Snape drop to the floor in a heap.

He disentangled himself from his robes and hastily got up pointing his wand threateningly between my eyes.

"_Petrificus Totalus_!" Sirius shouted, Snivellus keeled over stiff as a board.

"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" Lily literally screamed. She had her own wand out. I eyed it warily.

"Ah…Lily…I don't want to have to hex you now do I?"

"Dunno Potter but I sure as hell wouldn't mind hexing _you_"

"Come on Lily…I really don't want to you know…"

"Take the hex off him, then!"

I sighed deeply and muttered the counter curse.

"There you go" I said as Snape scrambled himself off the floor, "You're lucky Lily was here, Snivellus -"

"I don't need help from a filthy little Mudblood like her!"

Lily looked a little flabbergasted.

"Fine then I won't bother in the future. And I'd wash your pants if I were you, _Snivellus_"

"Apologise to Lily!" I roared at Snape's petty little face.

"Back off Potter, I don't want_ you_ to make him apologise! You're just as bad as him!"

"What?" I stuttered. "I'd NEVER call you a you-know-what!"

"Messing up your hair because you thinks it looks cool to look like you've just got off your broom stick, showing off with that stupid Snitch, walking down corridors throwing random hexes because someone annoys you – I'm surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me SICK!"

She turned on her heel and hurried off.

"Lily" I shouted after her, "Lily!"

But she carried on.

"What is it with her?" I sighed.

"Well Prongs mate, looking at the circumstances I'd say she thinks you're a little conceited" Sirius said.

"Right" I said furiously…I cast the spell once again at Snape "Now who wants to see me take off Snivelly's pants?"

A lot of cheering and jibes followed but I didn't have the guts to do it. She was right wasn't she…I was a _bully_.

"James mate what are you doing, aren't you gonna mess Snivellus up some more, or are you going soft over a girl?" Sirius laughed. I turned to look at him, then turned to look at the people milling round watching the show like they would at the theatre.

"Just watch it Snape, or you'll wish your mummy never got up the duff and had you in the first place" I spat dropping him to the ground with just a bit more force than last time, "No one wanted to see your nasty girls parts anyway" I added giving him a kick in the stomach before walking hastily away.

Her voice resounded in my head again and again… "Bully" "Toe rag" "Arrogant" "Fat head". But the thing that got to me most, that really started to get at me, was that…she was right.

* * *

Sum of you might have noticed that i used the stuff from Snape's penseive in the 5th book near the end, but i changed it a bit because it actually happened later in the year. I kept most the same though and the spells were all the same...don't sue me i have a disclaimer! Anyway read and review please i will look forward to ur comments...aslong as there are no flames...! 


	14. A fight

**I own no one so no suing me anyway hope u like this chapie ONE SWEAR WORD SORRY FOR INCONVINIENCE!  
**

**------------I could have---------------**

I plonked myself down on the sofa and stared at the fire. I was staring so intently and for so long that it seemed as though there were people dancing in the flames, playing instruments and laughing and singing. Then I noticed it wasn't just my eyes playing tricks there were actually people in the fire. One plummeted out of the fire place, doing summersaults in the air. They were pixies. A small red, fiery creature stack its tongue out at me made a wet noise. It flew back into the fire and started his merry jig again; if it really was a he…I couldn't really tell.

I only wished life were that simple. I wished everything just happened the way_ I_ wanted. I wished…I wished I wasn't a teenage boy with hormones.

I used to be such a lively boy, naughty, cheeky, confident. But now I was a sob story waiting to happen. Lonely, single, boring and plain. I hadn't had a detention for at least 3 days! I really was losing my touch.

I had cried more in the past week then in the year last year.

I was worried about being the bully I always was. I hadn't even noticed before Lily, oh so kindly, pointed it out.

What was going on? Maybe I _was_ going soft over a girl.

I knew what I had to do…I knew_ exactly_ what I had to do.

I left the common room to go in search of Billy Smith, he was a HufflePuff, next to the marauders he was a king prankster. Sometimes, when we were doing big operations, we let him tag along, he always stocked up on Zonko's stuff so he was always handy to have around.

"Hey Bill" I said catching up to him.

"James mate, what's up?"

"Nothing much" I shrugged, "Just wondering if you have any spray paint lying around."

"Hmm, might do let me check that for you"

"Thanks mate I appreciate it" He briefly went to his common room and came back with a few cans of spray paint.

"This enough?"

"Yes that's great thanks a bunch" I said stuffing them down my top and a few down my pants.

"So what do you Marauders have planned then?"

"Marauders?" I asked briefly, stopping shoving cans down my trousers, I looked at him.

"Yeah…you got a good prank up your sleeves?"

"Oh yeah…we're working on something" I said lying, because in fact, I was doing this prank on my _own_.

No cunning help from Remus, no distractions by Sirius, no using Peter as a lookout. Just me, James Potter going down alone.

"Anyway bye and thanks again" I said adjusting my trousers and scuttling off in the opposite direction.

"Ok, cya" I heard him call behind me, but I continued charging through the corridors, careful of dropping a can and being caught.

--------------------------------------

Later that night, after all the Marauders were asleep, I snuck out, my invisibility cloak my father gave me for my 12th birthday, swung lightly over my shoulder.

I strode out of my dorm and down the stairs, stashing the cans underneath my belt. I swung the cloak over my shoulders and- stepped through the portrait hole.

I made no sound as I avoided Filch, Mrs Norris and a 6th year Prefect on my way to where I was headed.

I found the perfect spot to unleash my plan and dropped the invisibility cloak on the floor. I got out the spray cans and began my masterpiece. When I was finished I hastily put my cloak back on but not before leaving my mark.

I got back to my dorm at about 1 in the morning. I was so tired I didn't bother unchanging, I just fell into bed, falling straight away asleep.

The next day I woke up to Remus shaking me franticly.

"Huh what…what's the time?" I asked sitting up groggily and wiping drool off my chin.

"How could you do this to us Prongs? You _know_ we do _all_ pranks as a team!"

"Huh? Oh, right that…good huh?" I asked yawning and picking up my glasses from my side table.

"You _betrayed_ us James!" He said letting go of my shoulders and backing away.

"Not really, I just had to get my rep back…and this was the best way,_ alone_"

"But that totally goes against everything the Marauders stand for! You know Unity and all that crap"

"Look Moony, it was just a one off, it doesn't matter" I said shrugging it off and scrambling out of bed.

"No James, that's the point you've_ changed _I'm all for you and Lily getting together but -"

"O so is _that_ what this is about?" I said squaring my shoulders, "me and Lily? Look Moony if you're jealous than -"

"Jealous! Why would _I _be jealous Prongs, anyway it's not like anything is_ happening_ between you and Lily at the moment is it?" He shouted at me taking another step back.

"Shut up Moony you don't know _anything_!" I yelled taking a step towards him.

"You _always_ say that James and you're_ always_ wrong!"

"Oh I am, am I?"

"Yes you are!" He shouted back at me also taking a step forwards.

"Look Remus, Sirius is already all up in my face, with all this Lily shit, don't tell me you love her too!"

"I do NOT love her!" He bellowed, swinging his fist at me. I ducked and kneed him in the shin, not wanting to hurt him too much.

"Ok Remus I understand, you _don't_ love her" I said taking a leaf out of Lily's book and rolling my eyes.

"SHUT UP JAMES!" He yelled again this time ramming his fist into my gut. I coughed and spluttered as his pounding fist connected with my stomach.

"Get off Moony" I croaked.

"You _are_ just an arrogant ass Prongs! You don't care for anyone but yourself!"

"That's not true…I care for Lily!" I shouted grabbing his fist and twisting his arm behind his back so he was in a sort of head lock.

"FU- ARGHH" He screamed as I heard his shoulder popping out of place. I let go of him like he was on fire.

"Oh…oh my god Moony, are you ok?" I didn't mean to have hurt him that much. His arm was sticking out at an odd angle, he looked down with pain in his eyes, I cautiously made my way towards him. Suddenly his fist came soaring through the air and I was struck hard and strong.

"I'm gonna kill you Potter!" He growled using his strong arm to thrash around at my face. He scratched me were Snape had cut me the day before and I screamed in agony.

"Look Moony you're getting out of control, is it nearly a full moon?" I asked grabbing his hand and shoving him off me.

"I am NOT out of control!" He shrilled, though he obviously was, he was throwing random punches at me and it was beginning to hurt a little, not a lot, but a little.

"LOOK MOONY JUST GET A HOLD OF YOUR SELF! GET A GRIP!" I yelled grabbing his wrists and holding him at arms length. "Look, I'm sorry ok, I'm sorry" I said my eyes starting to tear up.

"James you don't understand, no one does, you guys are like my only family. I can tell you anything, do you know how hard it is to be the freak, the one with the problem. My parents can barely cope when I'm at home, why do you think they send me to boarding school?"

"But Remus you said you were put on the waiting list for this school as soon as your mum knew she was having you"

"You believed that? No, the only reason I'm here is because Dumbledore knows my grand father, I'm the hopeless case, as always" He said hanging his head.

"Remus mate I…I don't know what to say" I said also hanging my head.

"Hey, you didn't know, anyway we _were_ fighting over a girl and we all know I have no trouble at all in that department" He said laughing. By the way he was joking, Remus said he 'barely had time for a girlfriend with all the studying he does, they wouldn't understand him anyway, they would think he was a freak' and that 'you didn't need a girl to be a man' and of course 'I don't care if she's a D cup, it's what's inside that matters' although on that occasion I agreed with him, it was what was _inside_ the D cup that mattered.

I was sure Remus _would_ get himself a little lady friend one day though, one that really understood him I hoped. I put my hand on his shoulder and he winced in pain.

"Oh mate, i'm sorry i forgot...I -"

"Seriously mate, no worries" He said, biting his lip.

"Look let me help" I grabbed hold of his arm and before he could protest i had popped it back into place. He screamed, then suddenly looked a little sick.

"How...where...when?" He asked, flabbergasted.

"Something i picked up from watching too many bad muggle, casualty programs" I grinned slapping him on the back.

Anyway when Remus and I had both calmed down we noticed that our lessons started in 15 minutes.

We grabbed our bags, books and wands and made our way to our Charms lesson.

My stomach rumbled as I remembered I hadn't eaten that morning, o well I would turn my pocket watch into an apple and have that.

I had totally forgotten about my prank the day before and only remembered when I saw a whole crowd of people, from all years and houses, milling round a wall laughing there heads off. Damn my experience with crowds.

I grinned and looked at the piece of art before me. In large yellow letters read:

"IN NEED OF THAT SPECIAL TOUCH, PINING FOR THAT LONG LOST AFFECTION? CALL OUR ESCORT TEAM OR DIRECTLY CONTACT ALBUS DUMBLEDORE ON THE NUMBER 123456 REMEMBER, WE LIVE TO PLEASE" Then in tiny letters in the bottom corner was "By the way, James Potter woz 'ere"

"Ahh Mr Potter the star of our show, would you please follow me" Came the voice of…dun dun dun McGonagall! "And Mr Lupin, you as well"

"But Professor, he had nothing to do with this!" I stepped in.

"And you expect me to believe that? Mr Black and Mr Pettigrew are all ready with Professor Dumbledore" Oh no what had I done, all of that and I_ still_ don't get the glory! Oh yeah and the guys got in trouble, that's bad too.

As me and Remus were death marched up to Dumbledore's office I could have sworn I heard an organ playing and the sound of hushed sobbing and noses being blown. Girls were calling out to us things like:

"Be brave" and "Stay strong" and "My hero". And boys were commenting on our "Strong minds and will" telling us to "not forget them, as they definitely won't forget us" It was like we really _were_ dead meat, and then it struck me…we probably were.

* * *

PLZ READ AND REVIEW! HOPE U LIKED! 


	15. A telling off not worth the bother

Hi guys, sorry I stopped writing the story, but i started a new one and totally forgot about this one, just for the record I own no one!

-------------I could have-------------

"Ahh Mr Potter, Mr Lupin, so nice of you to join us at last" I looked around, Sirius sat there twiddling his thumbs and Peter was looking round incredulously still confuddled by what he was meant to have done.

"Sir before you start I just want to say-"

"Do sit down will you" Dumbledore said, gesturing to two chairs which he had just conjured.

"Sir I really-"

"Mr Potter there is no need to explain"

"There…isn't?"

"Nope"

"Oh, well then you know that I-"

"Personally I found the whole event quite amusing"

"You_ did_?"

"Yes, I haven't had quite so many laughs since Horace fell off his pedestal at lunch the other week"

"But Sir I have something to say-"

"I just hope I don't get too many phone calls"

"Phone calls?" Sirius queried, not quite up to speed on the whole muggle telephone aspect.

"Yes Mr Black, are you not aware of what you actually wrote on that wall?"

"But Sir he didn't do it"

"Mr Potter, what _do_ you mean?" He asked, eyes twinkling, a small smile playing on his lips.

"I did it alone Sir, the others didn't have anything to do with it"

"I know"

"You_ know_?"

"Yes I know"

"How do you know?"

"Because I saw the whole escapade"

"Escapade?"

"Yes, I saw you talking to Billy Smith, I saw you sneaking through the corridors late at night, and I saw you writing the message"

"But Sir, how did you-"

"Mr Potter, some people say all teachers have eyes in the back of their heads, I for one have eyes in several other places, there is hardly anything that happens in this school without me knowing of it" My eyes widened, what exactly_ did _this man know?

"Moving on, I will not punish all of you as I know not all of you had these intentions; however I expect Mr Potter here to scrub the walls until they sparkle."

"Sir-"

"Without the use of a wand" I slumped back in my chair. It was true that I had gotten off light, but I was very bummed that I had to spend my evening scrubbing down walls. We were dismissed shortly after and sent straight to our next lesson, Herbology.

"Padfoot" I called after Sirius retreating figure. "What bit him up the butt?"

"I guess he's still miffed off about the whole prank thing"

"But he got off scotch free; surely that's a good thing"

"Maybe he's madder at the fact that he _did_ get off scotch free"

"I don't understand"

"James, you're his best friend, surely you know why he's upset" I looked down at my feet. He was right, Sirius was mad that I had disowned him, but it wasn't my fault, I needed to prove something, that I still had it in me. I was doing for his sake after all! I decided I had to do something so I caught up to him and grabbed his arm.

"Bog off Prongs"

"Look Sirius I'm sorry I was such a dog"

"Oh thanks, now being a dog is a bad thing"

"Sirius you know I didn't mean that"

"Of course I know, I just want to put you through hell for a while"

"Padfoot" I looked at him pleadingly. His stern expression altered slightly.

"I'm sorry too Prongs, I shouldn't have made fun of you that time after Snivellus"

"Hey, what are good friends for if they aren't for pointing out your weaknesses?"

"Good point" Sirius laughed. I was glad we were friends again. Then I saw something that reminded me why we would never be the same again.

"I hope you got hell for that one Potter, I can't believe they haven't expelled you yet" Lily sneered at me, showing the worst of her.

"Actually Lily, I barely got told off, it was all really pointless really"

"Pointless? Is this_ the_ James Potter speaking here? According to you _no_ prank is _pointless_"

"Well this one was, the person I was supposed to prove something too didn't even take notice"

"Oh and that was me I suppose was it?"

"Actually Lily, it was Sirius" And with that I walked off, leaving her standing there gob smacked.

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Herbology was a slight bore; I wasn't really focussing at all. What I was focussing on was the upcoming Slytherin vs. Gryffindor Quidditch match the following month. We needed a lot of practise and the match was creeping up slowly on us. I would have to get out my clean sweep and practise a few laps on the Saturday.

"Hey James, can I ask you a question?" Sirius asked me casually on our way to lunch.

"Yeah sure, fire away mate"

"Do you still like Lily?" I stopped dead in my tracks and turned slowly towards him.

"What makes you ask?" I asked in a strained voice.

"Just wondering really" He shrugged.

"Well…I don't really know at the moment"

"Oh right" He said lightly.

"But I suppose I could try and date…_other people_ for a while" I spat out 'other people' like it was some kinda of deadly disease. I didn't want to date other people, but Sirius wanted to date Lily, and maybe I should've just let him.

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"_This is the way I scrub the walls, scrub the walls, scrub the walls, this is the way I scrub the walls, on a cold and frost evening" _I was on my own at 6 in the evening scrubbing down walls, whilst everyone else was inside the Great Hall eating and laughing and chatting away.

"You look like you could use some help" Asked a voice, I turned around. Sirius, Remus and Peter were all standing there with sponges and buckets full of soapy water. I smiled at them and we continued cleaning the graffiti from the walls.

"All together now! _This is the way we scrub the walls, scrub the walls, scrub the walls, this is the way we scrub the walls, on a cold and frosty evening"_

I had the best friends ever, and no girl, not even Lily Evans was going to get in the way of that. Oh what was I talking about? It's Lily Evans!

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All reviews are appreciated, I hope you like the story!


	16. A way of getting over her

**I own no one at all, ya happy now? Huh? huh? Knowing that some poor defenceless childs dreams of owning Harry Potter have been crushed beneath the surface we call reality? Well are ya!**

**Ok so this chapter is a little bit pointless but at least now James has a date...things will evolve I tell you...very soon indeed... **

**----------------I could have-------------------- **

"James…James…JAMES!"

"Wha-!" I fell abruptly out of bed and onto the floor, landing with a harsh thud.

"Finally James you're up"

"Err yeah, thanks to mister automatic alarm clock over here" Sirius grinned sheepishly and quickly diverted his attention to a frantic Peter looking for a left sock.

"Peter, it doesn't matter whether you've got two right footed socks"

"It does if you've got two left feet" He grumbled, grabbing a handful of dirty underwear from out of under his bed.

"Anyway why the rush?" I asked them, rubbing sleep from my eyes.

"Well mate, seeing as we've got a new Quidditch Captain they're actually making us try out again"

"You what!" I yelled, unable to believe it.

"I said-"

"I heard what you said moron I just can't believe you mean it"

"Well I…err…do?"

"But Sirius, we've already tried out this year, remember? I mean what happened to Darcy?"

"He's gone, Holyhead Harpies bought him off a couple of days ago-"

"So now we have a new captain?"

"Yep, she put up a notice in the common room saying try outs were today-"

"Wait…_she_?"

"Yeah, Rebecca O'Connell-"

"You mean…_Rebecca O'Connell_ is our new captain?"

"Yes Rebecca O'Connell, look Prongs we really need to get going if we want to catch breakfast before-"

"Our new Quidditch captain is a_ girl_?"

"Yes Prongs she's a girl-"

"A girl I used to date!"

"You went out with O'Connell? Whoa Prongs you sly dog, she's a year older than you-"

"And now she's our captain?"

"Yes Prongs I've already told you-"

"But she hates me!"

"She…WHAT?"

"I cheated on her with Sammy-Jo Cookson, she blew a fuse and told me if I ever crossed lines with her again she would shove my broom right were the sun don't shine"

"Oh Prongs" Sirius wailed, head in hands. "Now she'll never let you back on the team"

"I know that Sirius, why else do you think I kept away from her? I couldn't even face practises with her, it was lucky that she wasn't a bloody beater, she could have knocked my block off on various occasions" I sighed. "So now what do we do?"

"Well James, every captain has it in his, or her as the case may be, best interests that he, or she as the case is, must produce the best Quidditch team in the school and whip their opponents arses. So evidently, O'Connell, despite her loathing towards you, will pick the best of the best, that's you, and me, so if I was you, I wouldn't worry too much about it, I'm not"

"Well you're not the one she blooming hates are you?"

"No, this point is valid, but then again, if you hadn't cheated on her with Sammy-Jo neither would you be"

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"Beckham, Bigly, Black, Bloggs and…Potter" She gave me a small and wiry smile, it scared me so much I would have wet myself if it had not been for the broom comfortably wedged between my thighs. It was not supposed to be my turn yet; it was supposed to be in alphabetical order by the first letter of your surname, since when did B come next to P? I slowly pushed off from the ground and came face to face with the new Gryffindor Quidditch team captain.

"Potter, how nice of you to drop by, you've come to support Black then?"

"No Sir, I mean…ma'am…I came to try out"

"I know" She laughed cruelly.

"Look Rebecca I-"

"Don't call me Rebecca!" She snarled.

"Fine then…O'Connell?" She nodded her head as a sign that I was to continue.

"I'm really sorry about any tension there is between us but I hope it doesn't affect my seeker position in any way-"

"Enough talk Potter, Black is trying for keeper, Bloggs, Bigly and Beckham all want chaser._ I'm_ a chaser which means they can't all get what they want, _you_ will be playing beater for this game, Beckham will be seeker. Do you understand?"

"But ma'am-"

"Don't call me ma'am this isn't the military!" She growled.

"Yes ma'am, no ma'am" She bared her teeth at me and I cowered on my broom stick.

"What is the problem Potter?"

"Nothing, I just was wondering if maybe there could be separate try outs so we can all have a chance at what we want-"

"I don't care what you were wondering! The Slytherin vs. Gryffindor Match is going to be on October the 7th, that's 5 weeks earlier than it normally should be, we need practise, we don't have time to be faffing round with individual bloody try outs for every individual bloody position, both our beaters and two of our chasers, one of them being one of the best in England, from last year are gone and I want to have the best of the best this year, not the rejects Darcy selected last week, now grab that bat and get bludging, do you hear me!" She barked, making me retreat back to the ground.

"Perfectly" I mumbled, grabbing a bat. I had tried playing beater once before, with dreadful consequences, maybe this was why O'Connell was so desperate for me to play it, so I would get knocked into the bleachers again like last time.

"Potter, stop dawdling and get up into this air this instance!"

"Coming ma'am"

"Potter you call me ma'am one more time and it will be the last thing you call me!" She threatened menacingly.

"Why ma'am? You going somewhere?"

"POTTER!" She screamed at me. I flew off around her head, zooming past her ear.

"Catch me if you can, ma'am!"

"You get back here Potter; else you'll be off the Quidditch team before you can say Slytherin!"

"I'm not on it anyway, so what's to lose?"

"Well for a start you'll_ never _be on it!" I was chasing her tail now, but she hadn't got as good control on her broom as I had and she started looping through the air.

"Like I'm bothered!" I yelled after her, chasing her still, just to annoy her some more.

"I don't know what I ever saw in you Potter!"

"I know what I saw in you though" I said slyly. She stopped dead on her broom and turned round slowly.

"You _do_?"

"Course, you're a gorgeous girl, lovely figure, good athlete. Smart, attractive, funny, light sense of humour" I added in, a little sarcasm on the last one. She smiled seductively at me.

"Well then maybe we could talk some time, say over a cup of coffee or something?"

"Ooh, very sophisticated, I like a woman with class"

"And I like my men with an as-"

"Excuse me; are we actually going to play some Quidditch here?" Janine Bigly asked with an exasperated expression, ignoring the puppy dog drooling looks she was receiving from Paul Bloggs.

"Oh, yeah, you know what, I'm just gonna keep the guys Darcy chose, try outs are over" A lot of complaining and moaning was heard from the ground and Janine literally erupted like a volcano.

"So I guess we're going to be Quidditch partners then?" I asked Rebecca coyly.

"I guess so" She smiled back at me.

The Potter charm works miracles again.

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**Thanx for reading, please oh please review, i do love those reviews i do! **


	17. A new way of communication

_**Ok...so this chapter just kinda came to me...it's a little weird...and a little annoying, but I swear it was the effects of the 10 cups of coffee I had this morning...anyway hope you like it chums :D**_

_**I own no one **_

**Lily is in bold**

James is underlined 

**-------------------I could have---------------------**

"James mate, who are you all dolled up for?"

"I've got a date" I said smirking. I slapped some cologne onto my neck and ran a hand through my messy mop of hair.

"With who?" Sirius asked, genuinely surprised.

"Rebecca O'Connell"

"No way Prongs!"

"Yes way"

"That's awful!"

"Why?"

"Because if something happens between you then you could be kicked off the team"

"First of all, I highly doubt that, and secondly you of all people should be happy, it means you can have Evans" I said nonchalantly, like it didn't even bother anymore.

"But James I-"

"Look will you just leave it Sirius I'm free to date whoever I want, so are you, now I'll back out of your business if you just back out of mine" I snapped, grabbing my wand and exciting through the door.

It was a Hogsmeade weekend and I was taking my Quidditch captain, strange really, but she did look really hot in a mini skirt. I held out my arm and she latched onto it. I was so glad she was short for her age, because it would have been strange being loomed over by your date, who happened to be the girl of the couple.

I had erased Lily Evans completely from my mind…well…almost completely, because I would have had to thought of her before erasing her…I hope you know what I mean, because _I_ don't have a clue.

We walked to the Three Broomsticks and I ordered us two butterbeers.

"Maybe after, if you feel like it, we could go get that coffee we talked about" I asked her, grinning.

"I have a lot of better things we could use our time with" I felt her leg rub against my own leg. She must have been pretty damn cold in that tiny skirt and bare legs, but who am I to complain, she _definitely_ looked hot.

"I would like to hear those ideas" I said leaning into her, but I never got to hear what she was about to say because I was suddenly distracted by a laugh I hadn't heard for so long, yet remembered so distinctly, what was Lily doing here? Or what I really wanted to know was, _who_ was she with?

"James?"

"Remus?" I said astonished.

"I…err…didn't know you would be here"

"Yeah, I'm here with Rebecca, my _date_" I drawled out the word date just in case they didn't get the message. Lily didn't look at me; instead she seemed to be having a very interesting discussion with her shoes, as they were the only thing she was focussing her attention on.

"Well we're just gonna go" Remus said, gesturing weakly to a table. How could one of my best friends have betrayed me like this? No, it wasn't Remus fault, it was my fault, he probably assumed I didn't like her anymore…because I didn't…did I?

**Of course you do you idiot.**

Oh no not you again.

**Excuse me! Yes it is me, and I would remind you to keep your manners to yourself, if I wanted to I could make your life a living hell.**

And you haven't already.

**Good point, but at least you still have nice arms.**

I _do_ have nice arms don't I?

**They're gorgeous.**

Thanks.

**You're welcome.**

So anyway, conscience, aren't you going to say something useful to me that will end up making me feel guilty about the whole Lily situation, then tell me to confess my undying love for her and not to stop until I get her?

**Actually I was just going to suggest trying the roasted peanuts; they taste great with a swig of fire whisky.**

That's it? I've been arguing with myself and looking like a complete prat for the last five minutes and that's all you can say, try the roast peanuts?

**Pretty much yeah.**

Oh…well thanks for the advice anyway.

**You're welcome, good bye.**

Bye conscience, wow I love that guy…sometimes.

"James are you alright?" I was jogged back into reality as Rebecca patted me on the hand.

"Oh yeah Rebecca I'm fine"

"Good, you were starting to worry me there…so where were we?" She asked, smirking and leaning closer "Oh yeah" I smirked as well and leaned in, I don't think I really have to explain to you what happened next, except maybe I should, because it had nothing to do with me kissing Rebecca.

"**James!"**

"Lily?"

"**How could you James?"** I looked around bewildered, Lily was there alright, but she wasn't talking to me, she was laughing at something Remus must have said.

"What did I do?" I asked, scared at what was going on.

"**James I trusted you, I told you, you would hurt me, and you go and prove me right"** I looked straight in Lily's direction, she looked like she was having a great time, a stab of jealousy hit me hard in my gut and I felt instantly sick.

"James, I don't know what's wrong with you but I think I better be going" I saw Rebecca get up quickly and grab her things, with a quick 'good bye' she left the pub.

I still hadn't taken in what was happening, but I could still hear Lily's voice fill my head.

"**If you still love me James then you'll fight for me, get me back, woo me James"**

"Lily of course I still love you, but it's not that simple, Remus is my friend"

"**He's mine too"**

"I wouldn't be surprised if he wanted to be more" I looked over in Lily's direction again, Remus was at the bar and Lily was focussed completely on me. Could it be that she could…no…she was a muggle born…still it wasn't impossible for us to communicate…telepathically?

"**Yes James, I took a potion this morning if you must know"**

"But why Lily?"

"**Because I needed to talk to you somewhere were I wouldn't have to speak to you"**

"You are a clever one aren't you?"

"**Only the cleverest"**

"So what is it Lily?"

"**I want to know what you were doing with that trollop O'Connell"**

"You know you sound a lot ruder telepathically"

"**Just answer the god damn question Potter"**

"Why are you concerned?"

"**I'm not, I'm just curious"**

"That's what Peter said when we accused him of being gay"

"**Potter stop being so crude and answer my question"**

"So you love me too then?"

"**What? Where the hell did you get that idea from Potter?"**

"Well if you want me to fight for you so much I take it there is a reason behind it"

"**Not really, I was just sick of you moping around"**

"Then you must not have noticed the beautiful girl on my arm whom I happened to be on a date with"

"**It was probably a pity date"**

"Why? I have no reason to pity her"

"**No I meant for you"**

"Oh jeez, thanks a bunch"

"**Look Potter why were you on a date with her if you still like me?"**

"Because I wanted to give my other two friends, who also happen to be head over heels for you a chance!" I mentally screamed at her. That certainly telepathically shut her up. I looked away and tried closing my mind of my thoughts. It was no use; I could still hear a little voice nagging in my ear. I looked up; someone _was_ nagging in my ear.

"Mr Potter could you please stop talking to yourself, people are worried and are leaving, if you turn down business once more then you will be escorted from the premises" Madame Rosmerta looked down at me with glaring eyes, I shakily got up and walked straight out the door.

Lily was right, even telepathically she was wise beyond her years. I needed to get her back, I loved my friends, but Lily was my ultimate reward, my true soul mate. Plus I had just lost my current date and was now alone.

I hadn't even gotten a kiss out of it. Life was being oh so cruel to me today, and yesterday, the day before, all the time really.

I decided I might have another little chat with Mr Conscience on my way back to the castle, and trying to ignore the strange looks and taunts from my fellow peers I made my way back home with a heavy heart and an aching brain.

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**I hope you liked it, please read and review...please... **


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